Frequently Asked Questions

 
 
 
 
 

How do I join The Dinner Party community?

Let’s face loss together. The Dinner Party is a US-based community for people between the ages of 21-45, who have experienced the loss of parents, partners, siblings, children, extended family members, and close friends. If you’re craving connection and a community that gathers regularly to talk candidly about #lifeafterloss, you can join the party here.

 
 

Why is your program age range limited to 21 to 45-year-olds?

Short answer: because there’s a gap in support, and we’re tight on resources and staff capacity.

We started The Dinner Party because younger adults are often underserved by the grief community—too old for youth and college grief support services and too young for traditional bereavement groups led by churches and hospice centers, where attendees are often in a different stage of life.

By providing our programs to this age range, we’re trying to combat the isolation that comes with being among the first in your peer group to lose someone. And while we wish that we could serve every person in the world who experiences loss (that is to say, nearly everyone at some point in their life), we’ve chosen to focus on what we know best—how to provide peer support for a group of people for whom there are not many, if any, other resources that exist.

 
 

I live outside of the United States, can I join?

The Dinner Party is an officially recognized U.S.-based 501(c)3 charitable organization, which means that we have to limit our program members to those living in the United States at this time. With that said, you may engage with our community through our newsletter, social media, and access all of the resources we have to offer.

 
 

Do I have to pick just one way to get involved?

Nope! Once you join this community, you’re welcome to participate in whatever way feels best.

Want to get a Grief Buddy, Host an Affinity Table, and attend a Location-Based Table? Go for it! Each of our programs offers something a little different, so there’s no limit to what you can participate in. Just remember: this community is run by and for fellow grievers, and we ask that everyone do their best to show up and participate in the programs they choose.

 
 
 
 

What do Dinner Partiers talk about? Is it all just grief and sad stuff?

Feeling a little nervous? It’s normal. Every one of us has had that butterflies-in-the-stomach, am-I-really-about-to-do-this feeling the first time we sat down with others in this community. The hardest part is done: You’re here. Congratulations.

If you join a Table, the first time your group meets, we’ll open with introductions and an opportunity to talk a little about yourself and your loss. Once everyone has shared the broad strokes of their story, we’ll have an open-ended conversation centered on questions like, “What do you wish people would ask you?” and, “How are you feeling right now?” The goal is to keep it conversational, so feel free to ask questions and bring up topics you’ve been itching to talk about yourself. Same goes for connecting with your Grief Buddy -- depending on how you choose to connect (over the phone, email, or text), you’ll start by introducing yourselves and sharing a bit about what brings you to this community. Over time, our most successful buddies and tables--the ones that really connect and grow together as friends—find ways to make room for both laughter and tears. Conversations about grief don’t have to be sad to be meaningful. Healing depends as much on making room for joy as it does on honoring pain.

 
 

Is The Dinner Party an alternative to therapy or other forms of grief support?

This community can complement, but not replace, other modes of healing or self-care. TDP is about building a family of friends around the experience of loss and is not a silver-bullet for making loss easy (if we stumble upon said silver-bullet, we promise to alert the press). We encourage every member of our community to find the support, personal rituals, and healing practices that feed them most, including but not limited to TDP.

The Dinner Party is a peer-led, nonprofit organization, not a crisis support line, and is not equipped to handle crisis situations. If you are worried about the safety of yourself or any Dinner Partier, we recommend that you voice that worry to them or someone connected to them and look to crisis resources immediately:

 
 

Do I actually have to cook for this?

For something called The Dinner Party, the dinner is the least important part! We believe food can serve as a fun conversation-starter: a way of introducing the person or people you’ve lost, whether via a family recipe, a favorite food, or something you cooked together. But if bringing yourself is all you have energy for, know that that's enough.

If you’ve joined a Virtual Table or the Buddy System, no need to worry about the "dinner party" part of "Dinner Partying" unless you're excited by the idea (long-distance grilled cheese night, anyone?!). We're big believers in happy hour conversations, whether that's with wine or water, and if you're craving dinner companions, go for it! 

If you are participating at an in-person Dinner Party Table, we typically gather pot-luck style and everyone contributes -- but please don’t let cooking be the thing that keeps you from attending your group. A box of cookies grabbed at the store between the office and dinner is just as welcome as a home-cooked side dish.

 
 
 
 

Are Hosts trained professionals?

Trained? Yes. Professionals? Nope. All of our Tables are created for and by peers, and everyone is a participant in the conversation. (If you yourself are a clinician, pastoral caregiver or anyone working in mental health or counseling, remember that this is a chance to take off that hat, and show up as peers, not professionals.) The Dinner Party staff leads a two-part, mandatory virtual training for all Hosts before they start Tables, which covers general info about hosting with TDP, as well as nitty-gritty details of how to host meaningful conversations.

 
 
 
 

Can I invite my friends who have also experienced a loss to join my Table?

We’re so glad you’re experiencing the magic of Dinner Party Tables! Before inviting your friend to join your table, we ask that you consider what would be best for your group and think about whether you care about anonymity at the table (as many Dinner Partiers do) or feel fine about having someone at your table who knows you. (Consider: oftentimes siblings who share a loss prefer to be matched to separate groups.) If you talk about how grief is affecting your relationship with your partner, will you feel weird having your friend there? If so, you can recommend your friend sign up for a different Table here. If you’re excited to have them be a part of your current Table, have your friend reach out directly to dinnerpartiers@thedinnerparty.org so we can welcome them into the community.

 
 

Does The Dinner Party have Health & Safety Guidelines?

We continue to learn from you, our community, about how you want to gather with fellow grievers. We acknowledge that so many in our community have been directly impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic, which is why the health and safety of our community is paramount. We continue to learn from evidence, experts, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) guidance about what can reduce the risk of contracting COVID-19 and other communicable disease. Should you choose to gather in person with anyone in our community, you do so at your own risk.

Please see our Health & Safety Guidelines for more information.