Grief Rituals
In 2014, a study was released that proved what humans have been hypothesizing for a long time: that having a ritual to turn to in times of grief and loss can really help. Some of us may have ancestral rituals we partake in, like the Jewish practice of sitting Shiva, or the Mexican celebration of Día de Muertos. Others are left wondering if that little thing we do without really, well, ritualizing it—like playing a song that reminds us of them—counts. Some of us like the idea of ritual, but don’t know where to even begin. Wherever you fit on that spectrum, let our guide below help support, foster, or start a practice of your own.
Have any questions, or want to share your ritual with us? Reach out to us at media@thedinnerparty.org.
Making It Through Together: Ritual Collection for Life After Loss
In early 2020, The Dinner Party (TDP) teamed up with Lippman Kanfer Foundation for Living Torah to launch a pilot project aimed at increasing the accessibility of spiritual and cultural rituals and practices. We began working with a dozen spiritual leaders from across traditions to curate a set of rituals and practices that people throughout time have used to navigate loss and life after. The result is this collection.
Our goal was to free religious wisdom from religious institutions, and to make those practices — and the insights they contain — accessible to any and all looking for a flashlight as they wandered grief’s dark tunnels. We wanted to explore the intersection between grief and spiritual practice, and to give people permission to adapt, adopt, and remix those practices, adding in elements of their own, in order to spread the wisdom they contain.
In this collection, you’ll find 12 rituals, with a few snippets on how they were used, shared by our pilot users. Each ritual includes a description of its origins and usage through time, a story from the author about the role it has played in their own journey with grief, and instructions on how to use it.
A Guide to Creating Your Very Own Grief Ritual Recipe Book
Thinking about the personal practices you partake in (intentionally or not) that help you fortify, reflect, honor, celebrate, or release? Interested in grief rituals, and want to spend time fleshing out your own? The Dinner Party is super pleased to release this toolkit, which will guide you through the creation of a personal grief ritual. This toolkit will take you through your “pantry”, the ingredients you already have on hand, to compose a ritual based on a need or a desire you want to tap into, like you’re in your very own test kitchen.
The Grief Ritual Recipe Book will equip you to approach what might feel like a tangled knot of feelings—a holiday looming, perhaps, or something in need of celebration—and transform it into your own uniquely personal and perfectly messy way of moving through.
We pulled this puppy together with human-centered design principles in mind (because we love to get creative about how we approach grief), tested it out at a retreat we hosted at Esalen in early 2020, and started implementing it with Dinner Partiers over Zoom in virtual care spaces soon after.
Now, we’re eager to hear what rituals you’ve come up with.
Let us know how it goes by emailing info@thedinnerparty.org!