Father's Day 2018

For the 2,808 Dinner Partiers for whom Father’s Day is a harder day than most: For the people who’ve lost a father, stepfather, or father figure. For the fathers who’ve lost a child. For the folks who never had a father to begin with. For the over 20% of people who submitted a story about losing their dad to suicide, depression, addiction, and/or other sources of stigma, especially during this past week.

For those in Year 1 and those in Year 21 of life after.

What follows are 150+ stories of Dinner Partiers who have lost a father, father figure, or child from 25 states and 5 countries: stories that are heart-breaking and heart-warming and everything in between. Stories of people who lived, and those who’ve gone on living in their memory. 

Read on, and know this: You are not alone. And together, we’ve got this.

 Iana | Miami   What's your dad's name?  Frank Hardeman   What do you miss about your dad?  I miss the way he said my name... I miss watching him play chess in the park on Sundays. I don't miss his empty promises. I don't miss how they made me feel.    What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  My best friend showed up at 8am, with a bottle of wine and crystal glasses, and said 'You went above and beyond. It's time for you now.'

Iana | Miami

What's your dad's name? Frank Hardeman

What do you miss about your dad? I miss the way he said my name... I miss watching him play chess in the park on Sundays. I don't miss his empty promises. I don't miss how they made me feel. 

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My best friend showed up at 8am, with a bottle of wine and crystal glasses, and said 'You went above and beyond. It's time for you now.'

 Evan | Brooklyn   What's your dad's name?  Larry   How do you honor him?  I honor my dad by living the life he would have lived: finding passion and satisfaction in my work; creating space for others to explore without judgement; approaching new situations with an open mind and an open heart.

Evan | Brooklyn

What's your dad's name? Larry

How do you honor him? I honor my dad by living the life he would have lived: finding passion and satisfaction in my work; creating space for others to explore without judgement; approaching new situations with an open mind and an open heart.

 Alee | Nashville    What's your dad's name?  Michael   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  My dad was a fantastic cook. From the moment I could reach the countertop on tiptoes, he was showing me how to steam lobsters, shell mussels, and make the perfect rice for paella. Once, on a French food kick, he taught me how to simmer whole fish and turn them into a lavish soup using only a blender and a strainer. I love that he cooked by glancing at a recipe, then just winging it. And everything he made was delicious, with layers and layers of interesting flavors. I miss his cooking all the time and think of him whenever I make a new dish. I miss sending him recipes and bragging about what I accomplished in the kitchen.  I will not miss the feeling of worry that comes with being the daughter of an alcoholic. It is what I thought was a never ending feeling of fear, anxiety, and sadness. Now that the alcoholism has taken him, only the sadness remains. There are so many things I wish I had said and done, but I know in my heart that none of it would have made a difference. He was the victim of a tricky and unforgiving disease.

Alee | Nashville 

What's your dad's name? Michael

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My dad was a fantastic cook. From the moment I could reach the countertop on tiptoes, he was showing me how to steam lobsters, shell mussels, and make the perfect rice for paella. Once, on a French food kick, he taught me how to simmer whole fish and turn them into a lavish soup using only a blender and a strainer. I love that he cooked by glancing at a recipe, then just winging it. And everything he made was delicious, with layers and layers of interesting flavors. I miss his cooking all the time and think of him whenever I make a new dish. I miss sending him recipes and bragging about what I accomplished in the kitchen.

I will not miss the feeling of worry that comes with being the daughter of an alcoholic. It is what I thought was a never ending feeling of fear, anxiety, and sadness. Now that the alcoholism has taken him, only the sadness remains. There are so many things I wish I had said and done, but I know in my heart that none of it would have made a difference. He was the victim of a tricky and unforgiving disease.

 Justin | San Pedro, CA   What's your dad's name?  Tom   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  At this point it is less about missing him and more about being sad that he doesn't get to see the person I have become and how his death has pushed me to be the person I am today.   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I always welcome any questions about my father. It gives me a chance to talk about him without awkwardly bringing him up. I wish I could ask him about life and if I'm doing it right.

Justin | San Pedro, CA

What's your dad's name? Tom

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? At this point it is less about missing him and more about being sad that he doesn't get to see the person I have become and how his death has pushed me to be the person I am today.

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I always welcome any questions about my father. It gives me a chance to talk about him without awkwardly bringing him up. I wish I could ask him about life and if I'm doing it right.

 Katie | Middlebury, VT   What's your dad's name?  Ron   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  I guess the more years out I am from losing my dad, the more thankful I am that I had him in my life for so long. A trick I learned from my TDP Chicago host: I try to turn the hard days (Father's Day, his birthday, death anniversary) into an opportunity to play Santa in ways that my dad would appreciate. He loved fishing so one year I went into a bait shop and paid for worms for anyone who came in that day. This year I'm going to to go to the VFW and buy some Vietnam Vets a round of drinks on my dad :). It helps me feel connected to him and slightly less sad on a day that sucks.

Katie | Middlebury, VT

What's your dad's name? Ron

What is Father’s Day like for you now? I guess the more years out I am from losing my dad, the more thankful I am that I had him in my life for so long. A trick I learned from my TDP Chicago host: I try to turn the hard days (Father's Day, his birthday, death anniversary) into an opportunity to play Santa in ways that my dad would appreciate. He loved fishing so one year I went into a bait shop and paid for worms for anyone who came in that day. This year I'm going to to go to the VFW and buy some Vietnam Vets a round of drinks on my dad :). It helps me feel connected to him and slightly less sad on a day that sucks.

 Aïcha | Helsinki   What’s your dad's name?  Dialla   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My father used to go on long walks ("faire cent pas" as he called it, meaning "to take 100 steps") around Paris when I was growing up, usually on Sundays. Most of the time, he would go by himself, but sometimes he would turn to me and/or my siblings and ask if we wanted to go along. My father saying "Je vais faire cent pas" ("I'm off to take 100 steps") as he put on his hat, is a pretty fond memory.   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  Just him existing in this world.   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  It's a bit painful, but survivable. My father and I anyhow didn't always have the smoothest relationship, so I've felt tension around that holiday for some time, even while he was alive. Nowadays, I get a little sting every time some shopping site newsletter with the subject line "Gifts for Father's Day" lands in my inbox. Same feeling when walking past the greeting card sections in drugstores. And Father's Day is indeed an international phenomenon, though it doesn't happen on the same day everywhere. Wherever I go, I have to nod and smile while people complain about having to travel home for Father's Day weekend. It would be a bit harsh to respond with "at least yours is still around" or something along those lines haha. There are reminders of other people's living fathers all year long, though Father's Day is indeed more intense. Hearing someone talk about their father doesn't necessarily make me think of my own, but some ad telling me "Surprise YOUR father for Father's Day" inevitably makes me think about him no longer being around.

Aïcha | Helsinki

What’s your dad's name? Dialla

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My father used to go on long walks ("faire cent pas" as he called it, meaning "to take 100 steps") around Paris when I was growing up, usually on Sundays. Most of the time, he would go by himself, but sometimes he would turn to me and/or my siblings and ask if we wanted to go along. My father saying "Je vais faire cent pas" ("I'm off to take 100 steps") as he put on his hat, is a pretty fond memory.

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Just him existing in this world.

What is Father’s Day like for you now? It's a bit painful, but survivable. My father and I anyhow didn't always have the smoothest relationship, so I've felt tension around that holiday for some time, even while he was alive. Nowadays, I get a little sting every time some shopping site newsletter with the subject line "Gifts for Father's Day" lands in my inbox. Same feeling when walking past the greeting card sections in drugstores. And Father's Day is indeed an international phenomenon, though it doesn't happen on the same day everywhere. Wherever I go, I have to nod and smile while people complain about having to travel home for Father's Day weekend. It would be a bit harsh to respond with "at least yours is still around" or something along those lines haha. There are reminders of other people's living fathers all year long, though Father's Day is indeed more intense. Hearing someone talk about their father doesn't necessarily make me think of my own, but some ad telling me "Surprise YOUR father for Father's Day" inevitably makes me think about him no longer being around.

 Lauren | Los Angeles   What's your dad's name?  Ron Eccker or Dr. Eccker   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  Father's Day is bizarre! My dad died in 2009, but was sick for a decade before he died. With each year of his progressive illness Father's Day became a day of mourning and loss for the man and father my family once had. Sure, we celebrated his life, but we mostly mourned who we lost to ALS. And I still mourn his loss on Father's Day. I try to connect with others who have lost their father to just...be together. It feels good to connect and share with those who are also grieving on such a reminder of a day.   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  Remembering my dad on Father's Day isn't a day to honor or show my respects to him, rather it is a day I reflect on my experiences of being in relationship to him, both good and bad. I hold two very different experiences of my father, before and during his illness, and that's OK! It's ok to have mixed and complicated feelings about the loss of my dad. I hope that others can feel comfortable sharing that it isn't all good and relationships are complicated, even the ones we have with our lost loved ones.

Lauren | Los Angeles

What's your dad's name? Ron Eccker or Dr. Eccker

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Father's Day is bizarre! My dad died in 2009, but was sick for a decade before he died. With each year of his progressive illness Father's Day became a day of mourning and loss for the man and father my family once had. Sure, we celebrated his life, but we mostly mourned who we lost to ALS. And I still mourn his loss on Father's Day. I try to connect with others who have lost their father to just...be together. It feels good to connect and share with those who are also grieving on such a reminder of a day.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Remembering my dad on Father's Day isn't a day to honor or show my respects to him, rather it is a day I reflect on my experiences of being in relationship to him, both good and bad. I hold two very different experiences of my father, before and during his illness, and that's OK! It's ok to have mixed and complicated feelings about the loss of my dad. I hope that others can feel comfortable sharing that it isn't all good and relationships are complicated, even the ones we have with our lost loved ones.

 Sophia | Richmond, CA   What's your dad's name?  Felix G. Rivera   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My favorite memories are everything boricua - my dad teaching me how to salsa and merengue at a young age in our dining room, eating piraguas (Puerto Rican shaved ice) in Old San Juan with him, his giant PR bumper stickers and just his overall pride for our culture.   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  Father's Day is hard now. I had my daughter 6 months after my dad died, so the first Father's Day after my dad died was my husband's first Father's Day. I have so much happiness on this day because I am celebrating my partner, but also so much sadness as I miss my dad so much and can't celebrate him being an abuelo.

Sophia | Richmond, CA

What's your dad's name? Felix G. Rivera

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memories are everything boricua - my dad teaching me how to salsa and merengue at a young age in our dining room, eating piraguas (Puerto Rican shaved ice) in Old San Juan with him, his giant PR bumper stickers and just his overall pride for our culture.

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Father's Day is hard now. I had my daughter 6 months after my dad died, so the first Father's Day after my dad died was my husband's first Father's Day. I have so much happiness on this day because I am celebrating my partner, but also so much sadness as I miss my dad so much and can't celebrate him being an abuelo.

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Taylor | Boston

What's your dad's name? Dan

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My dad loved drinking Coronas with a lime slice. On his birthday every year, I try to drink one. I really appreciated when I explained this to my friends and they would join me in having Coronas! It's a small gesture, but it's meaningful.

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Gina | Springfield, VA

What's your dad's name? Huy Mai

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his smile. He had chipped a tooth from trying to crack a watermelon seed several years ago. But it is still the best damn smile I've ever seen.

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Patty | Oklahoma City

What's your dad's name? Bill Weldon

What is Father's Day like for you now? It’s tough. Last year was our first Father’s Day without him- a month after we lost him in the car accident. It’s a lonely, isolating feeling.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? There is so much beauty in this grief we all share. It ripped me open and, although I have bad days, it has peeled away layers and have led to a freedom I can’t quite put into words. It’s like you can’t unknow how precious and brutal this whole life thing is after you lose someone so dear to you.

 Greg | Chicago   What's your dad's name?  Steve Drain   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  His hands. Those were the hands that helped me learn how to walk, those hands picked me up when I fell, those hands were wrapped around me when I was down. I will always miss his hands -- sounds weird but they were distinct.   What is Father's Day like for you now?  A nightmare, brings me back to the day I lost him. Makes me remember I have no one to call on Father's Day. Reminds me I wont be hitting the golf course with my dad.

Greg | Chicago

What's your dad's name? Steve Drain

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His hands. Those were the hands that helped me learn how to walk, those hands picked me up when I fell, those hands were wrapped around me when I was down. I will always miss his hands -- sounds weird but they were distinct.

What is Father's Day like for you now? A nightmare, brings me back to the day I lost him. Makes me remember I have no one to call on Father's Day. Reminds me I wont be hitting the golf course with my dad.

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Sandie | Murrieta, CA

What is your dad's name? Eduardo "Eddie" Valenzuela

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? 

MISS: His (terrible) singing. NOT MISS: His (terrible) singing.

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Tierra

What's your dad's name? Gus Jones

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? One helpful thing that a coworker of my Dad's told me after he passed was, "I'm so sorry for your loss. This is going to hurt for a long time." She had lost her father too and knew what my sisters and I were going through. It was brutally honest, but I appreciated and connected to it much more than when people would say things like, "He's in a better place now," or else, expected me to be finished grieving after a few months. It was a life-changing moment and it felt good for someone to sort of validate that for me.

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Adam | Amsterdam

What's your dad's name? Lenny

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His sense of humor and casual, comforting worth. His intelligent, informed opinion on politics. I would give anything to be able to discuss our current political situation with him.

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Sometimes I wish people wouldn't just assume that both of my parents are alive.

 Maura | Boston   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  What I miss most is an aspect of our relationship I never got to have. To have an adult relationship with my dad. I’ve had to get to know him as an adult in absence as he did when I was 22. I wish Dad could have met his granddaughters. I have a 4.5 year old and an 8 month old, and I try to share stories about him on the regular. Like watching the Belmont Stakes with the 4.5 year old, I would tell her about how we went to the horse races every summer, what it was like to be a kid there, tasting the water from the spring, picking our favorite horses based on their silks.

Maura | Boston

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? What I miss most is an aspect of our relationship I never got to have. To have an adult relationship with my dad. I’ve had to get to know him as an adult in absence as he did when I was 22. I wish Dad could have met his granddaughters. I have a 4.5 year old and an 8 month old, and I try to share stories about him on the regular. Like watching the Belmont Stakes with the 4.5 year old, I would tell her about how we went to the horse races every summer, what it was like to be a kid there, tasting the water from the spring, picking our favorite horses based on their silks.

 Kristen | Saxapahaw, NC   What's your dad's name?  Ed Powers    Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  My dad was a single parent who traversed awful times to raise two kids and he did a pretty damn good job while being an amazing human and friend at the same time. I knew the world would break if I lost him. And a month later, the world started to crack. I seriously considered joining my dad when he died and that feeling lasted for months afterward. I was not strong and I hated when people told me I was because it made me want to do something to prove them wrong. When people told me I was strong, it felt like they were coping out on being vulnerable with me and understanding that I needed them. I felt like people assumed I had the support system I needed because of my outward appearance, but at nights, I was whispering the names of my closest loved ones as a reminder of why I should stay alive.   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  My friend who lost her dad suddenly the year before reached out every few weeks to check in on me. We talked about whatever but I also knew it came from a place of mutual understanding. She was part of this awful club and was there for me when I joined.

Kristen | Saxapahaw, NC

What's your dad's name? Ed Powers 

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My dad was a single parent who traversed awful times to raise two kids and he did a pretty damn good job while being an amazing human and friend at the same time. I knew the world would break if I lost him. And a month later, the world started to crack. I seriously considered joining my dad when he died and that feeling lasted for months afterward. I was not strong and I hated when people told me I was because it made me want to do something to prove them wrong. When people told me I was strong, it felt like they were coping out on being vulnerable with me and understanding that I needed them. I felt like people assumed I had the support system I needed because of my outward appearance, but at nights, I was whispering the names of my closest loved ones as a reminder of why I should stay alive.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friend who lost her dad suddenly the year before reached out every few weeks to check in on me. We talked about whatever but I also knew it came from a place of mutual understanding. She was part of this awful club and was there for me when I joined.

 Sica | Sequim, WA   What's your dad's name?  Jace Schmitz (and I so appreciate the present tense of this question)   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  "What's your relationship with him like now?" Because, we still very much have a relationship, it's just very different than it was before.

Sica | Sequim, WA

What's your dad's name? Jace Schmitz (and I so appreciate the present tense of this question)

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? "What's your relationship with him like now?" Because, we still very much have a relationship, it's just very different than it was before.

 Tiffany | Longmont   What's your dad's name?  Kimber   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I wish they'd ask what his name was. What he was like. What he loved to do. What my favorite memories or traits about him are. Honestly, people could ask anything, and just give me a chance to remember him with my words, and I'd be so happy. It's the awkward avoidance that sucks the most. And I get it. I did that too before someone I loved deeply died. I wish people would just ask and then listen and be ok with tears maybe too. <3

Tiffany | Longmont

What's your dad's name? Kimber

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish they'd ask what his name was. What he was like. What he loved to do. What my favorite memories or traits about him are. Honestly, people could ask anything, and just give me a chance to remember him with my words, and I'd be so happy. It's the awkward avoidance that sucks the most. And I get it. I did that too before someone I loved deeply died. I wish people would just ask and then listen and be ok with tears maybe too. <3

 Angie | Denver&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?  Jim Ruddell  What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My dad was the one person I knew who would always put personal beliefs and opinions aside to help someone. I called my dad sometimes four times a day wither just to chat or to seek counsel. Sometimes he would help me solve a problem and sometimes I would get a metaphorical swift kick in the ass. No matter what, I knew he would always be there for me.   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  As much as the dead dads club shocked me at first, I appreciate the sentiment. One of the most salient things in the wake of my dad's death is realizing how little we are prepared to discuss grief, grieve, and support others in their grief. My friends and family have been gracious and kind, but I have found myself reflecting on how I treated others experiencing grief prior to my loss and how to interact with people who are uncomfortable with my grief. As I move forward, I want to learn how to accept all forms of grief and find ways to normalize death, dying, and grief in the world. Thank you.

Angie | Denver 

What's your dad's name? Jim Ruddell

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My dad was the one person I knew who would always put personal beliefs and opinions aside to help someone. I called my dad sometimes four times a day wither just to chat or to seek counsel. Sometimes he would help me solve a problem and sometimes I would get a metaphorical swift kick in the ass. No matter what, I knew he would always be there for me.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? As much as the dead dads club shocked me at first, I appreciate the sentiment. One of the most salient things in the wake of my dad's death is realizing how little we are prepared to discuss grief, grieve, and support others in their grief. My friends and family have been gracious and kind, but I have found myself reflecting on how I treated others experiencing grief prior to my loss and how to interact with people who are uncomfortable with my grief. As I move forward, I want to learn how to accept all forms of grief and find ways to normalize death, dying, and grief in the world. Thank you.

 Rebecca | Washington, DC&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Steven Moses   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  Father's Day is hard . . . but so are many other days. I miss my dad when I'm succeeding at work or watching a Yankee game or planning my wedding. I missed him at graduation, and I miss him during holidays. I will always miss him. But The Dinner Party has given me a space to talk about that loss and a community to support me in my grief. For that I'm truly grateful.

Rebecca | Washington, DC 

What's your dad's name? Steven Moses

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Father's Day is hard . . . but so are many other days. I miss my dad when I'm succeeding at work or watching a Yankee game or planning my wedding. I missed him at graduation, and I miss him during holidays. I will always miss him. But The Dinner Party has given me a space to talk about that loss and a community to support me in my grief. For that I'm truly grateful.

 Samurai | Somerville, MA   What's your dad's name? &nbsp;Dr. John White   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My dad had a side-gig fixing and programming the electrical systems of yachts. Part of me thought he was cheating on my mom or doing something illegal; he'd always come back with a smile on his face and a stack of money. When I was at RISD, he went to fix a yacht in Fall River, so he picked me up and let me hang out while he worked. It was a massive 4-story yacht, complete with one of those mahogany conference tables that had a map made of precious stones. An oldish man came out and asked my dad if I was his daughter while we were having lunch. Dad looked him square in the eye and said, "You lay a hand on her and you'll be sleeping in a pine box." The old man chuckled and said, "Oh, Dr. White. Always with the jokes. (pointing at my dad) He is my favorite. I always call him," and then went off to one of the dining rooms. After dad finished working, he dropped me off at my dorm and told me he was very proud of me. I asked him what was up with that dude. "Oh, you mean the Prime Minister of Italy?" Turned out he wasn't cheating on my mom after all, just working on Silvio Berlusconi's yacht.

Samurai | Somerville, MA

What's your dad's name? Dr. John White

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My dad had a side-gig fixing and programming the electrical systems of yachts. Part of me thought he was cheating on my mom or doing something illegal; he'd always come back with a smile on his face and a stack of money. When I was at RISD, he went to fix a yacht in Fall River, so he picked me up and let me hang out while he worked. It was a massive 4-story yacht, complete with one of those mahogany conference tables that had a map made of precious stones. An oldish man came out and asked my dad if I was his daughter while we were having lunch. Dad looked him square in the eye and said, "You lay a hand on her and you'll be sleeping in a pine box." The old man chuckled and said, "Oh, Dr. White. Always with the jokes. (pointing at my dad) He is my favorite. I always call him," and then went off to one of the dining rooms. After dad finished working, he dropped me off at my dorm and told me he was very proud of me. I asked him what was up with that dude. "Oh, you mean the Prime Minister of Italy?" Turned out he wasn't cheating on my mom after all, just working on Silvio Berlusconi's yacht.

 Bridget | Brooklyn   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Lawrence Badore   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  It’s important to me to find other folks in the #deaddadclub that understand the nuances of days like today. I know those people will laugh with me and hug me and celebrate with me when I say I’m having a birthday party for my dead dad, or when I pick up his weird favorite candy bar in the deli when I’m having a sad day. It’s so special to find people that understand this stuff.

Bridget | Brooklyn

What's your dad's name? Lawrence Badore

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? It’s important to me to find other folks in the #deaddadclub that understand the nuances of days like today. I know those people will laugh with me and hug me and celebrate with me when I say I’m having a birthday party for my dead dad, or when I pick up his weird favorite candy bar in the deli when I’m having a sad day. It’s so special to find people that understand this stuff.

 Sarah | Houston   What's your dad's name?  Mike   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  Our society shies away from uncomfortable things and that include EVERYTHING about grief, death, dying. When through the course of conversation someone learns that my dad is dead, he/she is often 1) surprised, presumably because I'm so young, and 2) immediately sorry he/she has stumbled upon this piece of trivia and politely trying to get away from the topic as fast as possible. How validated, how SEEN would I feel if someone asked me what his name was? Mike. His name was Mike.

Sarah | Houston

What's your dad's name? Mike

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Our society shies away from uncomfortable things and that include EVERYTHING about grief, death, dying. When through the course of conversation someone learns that my dad is dead, he/she is often 1) surprised, presumably because I'm so young, and 2) immediately sorry he/she has stumbled upon this piece of trivia and politely trying to get away from the topic as fast as possible. How validated, how SEEN would I feel if someone asked me what his name was? Mike. His name was Mike.

 Ysette | NYC&nbsp;   What's your dad's name? &nbsp;Gary Reynolds&nbsp;   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  It really astounds me that in spite of all those times when I felt like my dad and I were very different people, in the years following his passing, I've become more of his daughter than ever before. It's uncanny, but all the values that he worked to instill in me, all the gifts he saw in me long before I ever recognized them in myself, are flowering now. I really wish he could be around to see this, but perversely, I'm not sure if I would have ended up here had his death not shaken me so deeply.&nbsp;   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  Connecting me with The Dinner Party! I can't imagine going through those dark, dark months following his death any other way. Or, I suppose I can, but most of those scenarios seem awfully lonely.

Ysette | NYC 

What's your dad's name? Gary Reynolds 

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? It really astounds me that in spite of all those times when I felt like my dad and I were very different people, in the years following his passing, I've become more of his daughter than ever before. It's uncanny, but all the values that he worked to instill in me, all the gifts he saw in me long before I ever recognized them in myself, are flowering now. I really wish he could be around to see this, but perversely, I'm not sure if I would have ended up here had his death not shaken me so deeply. 

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Connecting me with The Dinner Party! I can't imagine going through those dark, dark months following his death any other way. Or, I suppose I can, but most of those scenarios seem awfully lonely.

 Afton | Denver&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?  Gray   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I wish people would ask me what I got from my dad. One of the hardest things about losing him has been feeling like I'm also continuously losing the parts of myself that came from him. I want to talk about his love for music and being outside on the water and architecture! I want to talk about his dry sense of humor! I want to talk about the way he took care of his friendships! I want to talk about his struggles with communicating vulnerably. All of these things have become parts of me that I don't want to lose -- losing them or losing track of their roots feels like losing him all over again.

Afton | Denver 

What's your dad's name? Gray

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?
I wish people would ask me what I got from my dad. One of the hardest things about losing him has been feeling like I'm also continuously losing the parts of myself that came from him. I want to talk about his love for music and being outside on the water and architecture! I want to talk about his dry sense of humor! I want to talk about the way he took care of his friendships! I want to talk about his struggles with communicating vulnerably. All of these things have become parts of me that I don't want to lose -- losing them or losing track of their roots feels like losing him all over again.

 Katie | Oakland   What's your dad's name?  Phil Abbott   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; My dad died when I was 4 years old, so I don't have a ton of memories. My memories are mainly composed of photos and stories that people have told me, and continue to tell me about my dad.    What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?&nbsp; I help to facilitate groups of kiddos who have experienced [loss]. It was incredibly healing as a participant and continues to be a healing experience as I give back my time and energy to kiddos who are navigating grief. If there's been any silver lining in experiencing the death of my dad, getting to hold safe space for kids to grieve, laugh, play, and just feel normal is certainly it.

Katie | Oakland

What's your dad's name? Phil Abbott

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My dad died when I was 4 years old, so I don't have a ton of memories. My memories are mainly composed of photos and stories that people have told me, and continue to tell me about my dad.


What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I help to facilitate groups of kiddos who have experienced [loss]. It was incredibly healing as a participant and continues to be a healing experience as I give back my time and energy to kiddos who are navigating grief. If there's been any silver lining in experiencing the death of my dad, getting to hold safe space for kids to grieve, laugh, play, and just feel normal is certainly it.

 Maggie | Cincinnati   What's your dad's name?  Pat Taney   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; On our wedding day we were at our reception and he was giving a toast and dropping his infinitive wisdom to our guests. He made a joke and everyone laughed! Our photographer was able to capture a photo of my Dad, Mom, wife and I laughing. Looking at that photo makes me so happy that he was able to share that moment with us

Maggie | Cincinnati

What's your dad's name? Pat Taney

What is your favorite memory of your dad? On our wedding day we were at our reception and he was giving a toast and dropping his infinitive wisdom to our guests. He made a joke and everyone laughed! Our photographer was able to capture a photo of my Dad, Mom, wife and I laughing. Looking at that photo makes me so happy that he was able to share that moment with us

 Anna | Nashville   What's your dad's name?  Clinton Gilbreath   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; My favorite memory of my dad is sitting with him quietly outside on our farm.

Anna | Nashville

What's your dad's name? Clinton Gilbreath

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad is sitting with him quietly outside on our farm.

 Abbey | Baltimore   What's your dad's name?  Geoff   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?&nbsp; How much more colorful and interesting life was with him. He died when I had just turned 22. I was just starting to get to know him as an adult, not just my dad.

Abbey | Baltimore

What's your dad's name? Geoff

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? How much more colorful and interesting life was with him. He died when I had just turned 22. I was just starting to get to know him as an adult, not just my dad.

 Ilana | San Mateo, CA   What's your dad's name?  Eric A Shapiro   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?&nbsp; A friend called me every day of my father's Shiva. She would leave me a VM every day saying that she was thinking of me, that I didn't need to call her back if I didn't want to, that she loved me and to drink lots of water.

Ilana | San Mateo, CA

What's your dad's name? Eric A Shapiro

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A friend called me every day of my father's Shiva. She would leave me a VM every day saying that she was thinking of me, that I didn't need to call her back if I didn't want to, that she loved me and to drink lots of water.

 Juliana | Arlington, VA   What's your dad's name?  Ted   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  My first Fathers Day was by far the hardest but for now I try to always make his favorite lemon sherbert and watch the video of my Dad where he wrote and sang a song for me on my Wedding Day. Lots of tears but I love remembering him.

Juliana | Arlington, VA

What's your dad's name? Ted

What is Father’s Day like for you now? My first Fathers Day was by far the hardest but for now I try to always make his favorite lemon sherbert and watch the video of my Dad where he wrote and sang a song for me on my Wedding Day. Lots of tears but I love remembering him.

 Kerry, St. Louis   What's your dad's name? &nbsp;Don   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My dad was an incredibly talented artist. So many of my childhood memories are of his art studio in our basement and just watching him create beautiful paintings and illustrations.   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  My mom died 3 years before my dad died so I became an orphan at age 24. My close friends didn’t just mourn my dad with me when he died, but they helped me mourn my parents as a whole. It was gratifying to not feel so alone.

Kerry, St. Louis

What's your dad's name? Don

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was an incredibly talented artist. So many of my childhood memories are of his art studio in our basement and just watching him create beautiful paintings and illustrations.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My mom died 3 years before my dad died so I became an orphan at age 24. My close friends didn’t just mourn my dad with me when he died, but they helped me mourn my parents as a whole. It was gratifying to not feel so alone.

 Krissy | Philadelphia   What's your dad's name?  Jeff Woods   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  Dads can have such a big influence on a person’s life and especially a daughter. My dad taught me to be a badass! He taught me to not take shit from anyone (especially guys), to not be afraid to fail, and that he'd always be there to support me. He was such a pillar in my life and I miss him constantly.

Krissy | Philadelphia

What's your dad's name? Jeff Woods

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Dads can have such a big influence on a person’s life and especially a daughter. My dad taught me to be a badass! He taught me to not take shit from anyone (especially guys), to not be afraid to fail, and that he'd always be there to support me. He was such a pillar in my life and I miss him constantly.

 Araby | Providence, RI   What's your dad's name?  Greg   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  It’s a sad but happy thing; I’m reminded of how much I miss him but also of how much he meant to me and my siblings while he was alive.

Araby | Providence, RI

What's your dad's name? Greg

What is Father’s Day like for you now? It’s a sad but happy thing; I’m reminded of how much I miss him but also of how much he meant to me and my siblings while he was alive.

 Sarah | Denver   What's your dad's name?  Jim   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss just being able to call him to talk or for advice. I would speak to my dad on the phone everyday, even if we didn't chat about anything important. He was very reliable and cared very much about my life and how I saw the world… He was one of my best friends.

Sarah | Denver

What's your dad's name? Jim

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss just being able to call him to talk or for advice. I would speak to my dad on the phone everyday, even if we didn't chat about anything important. He was very reliable and cared very much about my life and how I saw the world… He was one of my best friends.

 Kirsten | Austin   What's your dad's name?  John Notaro   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss him for the way I could always call him for no reason. I miss him lecturing me. I miss him being proud of my accomplishments. I miss his stupid shaky leg (whenever he sat, he would constantly shake his left leg). I miss his terrible singing. I miss seeing how happy him and my mom were…

Kirsten | Austin

What's your dad's name? John Notaro

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss him for the way I could always call him for no reason. I miss him lecturing me. I miss him being proud of my accomplishments. I miss his stupid shaky leg (whenever he sat, he would constantly shake his left leg). I miss his terrible singing. I miss seeing how happy him and my mom were…

 Jill | Seattle   What's your dad's name?  Allen   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  My dad called me "Booch." No one in this world called me that and with his passing that nickname died, too. I haven't heard it in over two years and it's ridiculous and silly and from an 80s tv show but I'd give anything to hear him say it again.

Jill | Seattle

What's your dad's name? Allen

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My dad called me "Booch." No one in this world called me that and with his passing that nickname died, too. I haven't heard it in over two years and it's ridiculous and silly and from an 80s tv show but I'd give anything to hear him say it again.

 Monte | Astoria   What's your dad's name?  Troy   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  He took me and my brothers and sisters to a skate park. He saw someone skating backwards and decided he wanted to learn. He shamelessly spent the rest of the night with his hand on the wall learning to skate backwards. It was the cutest and most innocent thing. And I learned from that point to never be embarrassed to learn something new.

Monte | Astoria

What's your dad's name? Troy

What is your favorite memory of your dad? He took me and my brothers and sisters to a skate park. He saw someone skating backwards and decided he wanted to learn. He shamelessly spent the rest of the night with his hand on the wall learning to skate backwards. It was the cutest and most innocent thing. And I learned from that point to never be embarrassed to learn something new.

 Sarah | Aurora, CO   What's your dad's name?  John&nbsp;   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  What he was like. A lot of the people I have in my life now never knew my dad. I would love to tell them about him.

Sarah | Aurora, CO

What's your dad's name? John 

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? What he was like. A lot of the people I have in my life now never knew my dad. I would love to tell them about him.

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Danielle | Peoria, IL

What's your dad's name? Tom

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I had several friends that were just willing to come over and be with me and my husband, we just played games and had snacks and laughed, that was very important for me to find some joy in the sadness.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I just appreciate the awareness being brought to the fact that Father's Day is not joyous for us all and giving us the ability to share our stories without being a downer.

 Nicole | Chicago   What's your dad's name? &nbsp;Ben&nbsp;   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  Too many to count. I honestly miss the 11 hour car rides from Ohio to NYC back and forth to drive me to college and bring me back home over the 4 years I was at NYU. At the time, those car rides were so long, so boring, and he was such a slow driver. ("Don't go over 65 to save on gas.") But when I look back, I remember that those hours were chances to spend with him, to hear his story and his opinion -- all while trying to keep him awake at the wheel. I remember the spring after my freshmen year, we were somewhere in Pennsylvania and the Tim McGraw song "My Little Girl" came on and I told him this was the song he'd dance to at my wedding. Sadly that's a memory I will miss too, because he won't be there for it.   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  Anything! People don't ask, but I would love to talk about him. There's so many stories about him. What did your dad do? How did your parents fall in love? What did your dad teach you? Why is he special?

Nicole | Chicago

What's your dad's name? Ben 

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Too many to count. I honestly miss the 11 hour car rides from Ohio to NYC back and forth to drive me to college and bring me back home over the 4 years I was at NYU. At the time, those car rides were so long, so boring, and he was such a slow driver. ("Don't go over 65 to save on gas.") But when I look back, I remember that those hours were chances to spend with him, to hear his story and his opinion -- all while trying to keep him awake at the wheel. I remember the spring after my freshmen year, we were somewhere in Pennsylvania and the Tim McGraw song "My Little Girl" came on and I told him this was the song he'd dance to at my wedding. Sadly that's a memory I will miss too, because he won't be there for it.

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Anything! People don't ask, but I would love to talk about him. There's so many stories about him. What did your dad do? How did your parents fall in love? What did your dad teach you? Why is he special?

 Jessie | Portland   What's your dad's name?  David   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  Whenever we drove around Denver in his car listening to classic rock and marveling at the mountains and sunny sky together.

Jessie | Portland

What's your dad's name? David

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Whenever we drove around Denver in his car listening to classic rock and marveling at the mountains and sunny sky together.

 Stephanie | Miami   What's your dad's name?  Cristobal Antonio Cata   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; Music with him. It was fun and real, heart felt. He loved music and singing. Music is what keeps us close today.

Stephanie | Miami

What's your dad's name? Cristobal Antonio Cata

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Music with him. It was fun and real, heart felt. He loved music and singing. Music is what keeps us close today.

 Brianna | Austin   What's your dad's name?  Jeremy I. Berkowitz   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; One of my favorite memories of my dad is him trying to put my hair in a bun for ballet class when I was 8. He stood back to look at the finished product and shook his head and said, "We need help." He took me down the street to a kind neighbor who fixed the bun.

Brianna | Austin

What's your dad's name? Jeremy I. Berkowitz

What is your favorite memory of your dad? One of my favorite memories of my dad is him trying to put my hair in a bun for ballet class when I was 8. He stood back to look at the finished product and shook his head and said, "We need help." He took me down the street to a kind neighbor who fixed the bun.

 Mandy | Atlanta   What's your dad's name?  Bill Sommerfield   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?&nbsp; Why other people miss and depended on him. He was everyone in his life's go to person and I just feel like he was under appreciated and selfless. I wish people would just ask about who he was more. My dad did so many kind things for me to make me feel like I had both parents when I really had one. I lost my mom at 11 and my dad at 29, he always made me feel loved on tough days like Mother's Day and always wanted to see how my first day at work went, no one cares as much as him. I just wish they'd inquire more about what I miss about him and how I can honor his memory in my life and keep him alive.

Mandy | Atlanta

What's your dad's name? Bill Sommerfield

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Why other people miss and depended on him. He was everyone in his life's go to person and I just feel like he was under appreciated and selfless. I wish people would just ask about who he was more. My dad did so many kind things for me to make me feel like I had both parents when I really had one. I lost my mom at 11 and my dad at 29, he always made me feel loved on tough days like Mother's Day and always wanted to see how my first day at work went, no one cares as much as him. I just wish they'd inquire more about what I miss about him and how I can honor his memory in my life and keep him alive.

 Kamicia |&nbsp;Anchorage   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Steven   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I wish that when I say something like, "oh yeah, I used to do that all the time with my dad," people would ask follow up questions instead of just looking at me in pity. Ask me more about that memory. Ask me the last time it happened. Ask me anything! But don't say "awww" with pity in your eyes and change the subject. I want to talk about him - help me to smile and laugh when I do.

Kamicia | Anchorage

What's your dad's name? Steven

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish that when I say something like, "oh yeah, I used to do that all the time with my dad," people would ask follow up questions instead of just looking at me in pity. Ask me more about that memory. Ask me the last time it happened. Ask me anything! But don't say "awww" with pity in your eyes and change the subject. I want to talk about him - help me to smile and laugh when I do.

 Jessica&nbsp;   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My dad and I had an estranged relationship but, after I moved across the country, we tried to see each other every time I went home. I remember getting together once and heading over to a restaurant where we were going to grab lunch. One of my favorite songs at the time - Losing my Religion by REM - came on the radio and my dad starting enthusiastically singing along, which I found really odd because his primary language was Spanish and I never pegged him as a REM type of guy. I started singing along, too, and we shared those roughly four and half minutes in what felt like such a pure moment.   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we'd asked you?  I have the shirt he's wearing in the picture... I wear it when I've been thinking about him a lot.

Jessica 

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My dad and I had an estranged relationship but, after I moved across the country, we tried to see each other every time I went home. I remember getting together once and heading over to a restaurant where we were going to grab lunch. One of my favorite songs at the time - Losing my Religion by REM - came on the radio and my dad starting enthusiastically singing along, which I found really odd because his primary language was Spanish and I never pegged him as a REM type of guy. I started singing along, too, and we shared those roughly four and half minutes in what felt like such a pure moment.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we'd asked you? I have the shirt he's wearing in the picture... I wear it when I've been thinking about him a lot.

 Marc | Philadelphia   What's your daughter’s name?&nbsp; Olive Yoon Stuart   What is your favorite memory of your daughter?  There are way more than one, but to give you a good one.... Olive used to get biweekly music therapy sessions while she was in the NICU. Without question she enjoyed it, but it was not always clear how much. Until one day, while Kathleen, our music therapist was playing the song she always used as the last one before the session ended, and, although Olive definitely looked like she was sleeping, as soon as the last chord was played on Kathleen's guitar, Olive became incredibly animated and visibly upset. She always knew how to make the saltiest of faces and when the music stopped that day, Olive cried and pouted and clearly communicated her displeasure. Kathleen began her encore and my little girl immediately stopped crying, closed her eyes and resumes her moment of zen. Just like her dad, Olive loved music.   What is this Father’s Day like for you?  It's sad. And complicated. But it's also a reminder that I'm still a dad. I only had one Father's Day with Olive and that is a gift that I will cherish for the rest of my days. This Father's Day will be my first without being able to hold Olive, but I really believe that she is still with me, still all around me.

Marc | Philadelphia

What's your daughter’s name? Olive Yoon Stuart

What is your favorite memory of your daughter? There are way more than one, but to give you a good one.... Olive used to get biweekly music therapy sessions while she was in the NICU. Without question she enjoyed it, but it was not always clear how much. Until one day, while Kathleen, our music therapist was playing the song she always used as the last one before the session ended, and, although Olive definitely looked like she was sleeping, as soon as the last chord was played on Kathleen's guitar, Olive became incredibly animated and visibly upset. She always knew how to make the saltiest of faces and when the music stopped that day, Olive cried and pouted and clearly communicated her displeasure. Kathleen began her encore and my little girl immediately stopped crying, closed her eyes and resumes her moment of zen. Just like her dad, Olive loved music.

What is this Father’s Day like for you? It's sad. And complicated. But it's also a reminder that I'm still a dad. I only had one Father's Day with Olive and that is a gift that I will cherish for the rest of my days. This Father's Day will be my first without being able to hold Olive, but I really believe that she is still with me, still all around me.

 Jacqui | Queens   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  I want people to know that suicide is one of the leading causes of death for men under 60. My family and I were blindsided when my dad, the most generous, gregarious person I knew, took his own life. We want to help create a culture where it's okay to talk about mental health issues, and where men are encouraged to get the help that they need rather than feel trapped alone in darkness.

Jacqui | Queens

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I want people to know that suicide is one of the leading causes of death for men under 60. My family and I were blindsided when my dad, the most generous, gregarious person I knew, took his own life. We want to help create a culture where it's okay to talk about mental health issues, and where men are encouraged to get the help that they need rather than feel trapped alone in darkness.

 Paul | Brooklyn   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; My dad's name is Paul Francesco AKA "Ciccio."   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?&nbsp; I miss hearing stories of the old days before emigrating to America.

Paul | Brooklyn

What's your dad's name? My dad's name is Paul Francesco AKA "Ciccio."

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss hearing stories of the old days before emigrating to America.

 Jessica | Berkeley   What's your dad's name?  Rob Ng   What is Father's Day like for you now? n My son was born just a few days before Father's Day in 2016. That Father's Day was the last one I had with my dad. My dad set a pretty high bar for what a dad should be like and I feel lucky that my son has a dad that is working to fill those shoes. &nbsp;

Jessica | Berkeley

What's your dad's name? Rob Ng

What is Father's Day like for you now? nMy son was born just a few days before Father's Day in 2016. That Father's Day was the last one I had with my dad. My dad set a pretty high bar for what a dad should be like and I feel lucky that my son has a dad that is working to fill those shoes. 

 Ryan | Milwaukee   What's your daughter’s name?  Greta Forte Gintoft   What is your favorite memory of your daughter? &nbsp;I can vividly remember her tiny grasp of my finger. There are times that I’m so connected to those that I can physically feel her grasp, and it makes me feel very close to her. She was a spunky little girl, and she always tried to shake my hand around in her isolette, almost saying, “here I am, daddy!”   What do you wish people would ask you about your daughter?  “What was your daughter like?” People are very afraid of talking about death and grief, and also forget the normal questions we ask about each other’s living children. I wish more normal questions were asked about my baby to help the feeling of isolation.

Ryan | Milwaukee

What's your daughter’s name? Greta Forte Gintoft

What is your favorite memory of your daughter? I can vividly remember her tiny grasp of my finger. There are times that I’m so connected to those that I can physically feel her grasp, and it makes me feel very close to her. She was a spunky little girl, and she always tried to shake my hand around in her isolette, almost saying, “here I am, daddy!”

What do you wish people would ask you about your daughter? “What was your daughter like?” People are very afraid of talking about death and grief, and also forget the normal questions we ask about each other’s living children. I wish more normal questions were asked about my baby to help the feeling of isolation.

 Victoria | Denver   What's your dad's name?  Isidore   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  His laughter, his voice, and him singing Pavarotti in the shower   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?&nbsp; Any question would be great. No one ever took the time to get to know him. They judged and treated him awful because he didn't have as much money as others did.

Victoria | Denver

What's your dad's name? Isidore

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His laughter, his voice, and him singing Pavarotti in the shower

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Any question would be great. No one ever took the time to get to know him. They judged and treated him awful because he didn't have as much money as others did.

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Dani | San Francisco

What's your dad's name? Roy Grodsky

Is there anything else that you want to share? ... before I was born my dad was on Oprah as 'God's Gift to Women' haha!

 Greg | Philadelphia   What's your dad's name?  Pete   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  In January 2001, my Dad and I went to the Meadow-lands to watch the New York Giants against the Vikings in the NFC Championship game. The Giants won 41-0 and went on to the Super Bowl. Fast forward to February 2012 when I was a freshman away at college and the Giants were playing the Patriots in the Super Bowl. When the game ended and the Giants won, I called my Dad and will always remember the euphoria in his voice.   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss how he would cry each time I would leave home to return to college. I miss his hugs, spending Christmas with him and going to the beach with him. I do not miss his french toast.

Greg | Philadelphia

What's your dad's name? Pete

What is your favorite memory of your dad? In January 2001, my Dad and I went to the Meadow-lands to watch the New York Giants against the Vikings in the NFC Championship game. The Giants won 41-0 and went on to the Super Bowl. Fast forward to February 2012 when I was a freshman away at college and the Giants were playing the Patriots in the Super Bowl. When the game ended and the Giants won, I called my Dad and will always remember the euphoria in his voice.

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss how he would cry each time I would leave home to return to college. I miss his hugs, spending Christmas with him and going to the beach with him. I do not miss his french toast.

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Hope | Essex, England

What's your dad's name? Nick

What's something helpful that someone did you for after you lost your dad? Hugged me, offered a private safe space for me to be alone if I wanted, and reassured me that this is my journey and there is no right way to do it.

What is Father's Day like for you now? We'll find out on Sunday...

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Amir | San Francisco

What is your dad's name? Mansur Nathoo

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Sitting outside in the summer enjoying a plate of delicious food and glass of red wine with him. He was so happy about the simple things.

What is Father’s Day like for you now?I feel like an outsider, jealous of others who still have their dads, and angry about my bad luck and loss.

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Eva | Oakland

What is your dad's name? Jerry Silverman

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Everything. I miss having someone for whom I am their #1 priority, and a loving, gentle safety net. On a deeper level, I miss getting to do all the things we loved to do together - listening to music, garage-sale shopping, going to shows, etc.  My dad and I were companions in a lot of ways, and I really miss sharing my day-to-day life with him. I dream of introducing him to my people and taking him around where I live today, seeing it through his eyes. 

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My best friend and I started talking on the phone every day, which is what I did with my dad (even though I was in college). Having someone to check-in with and share my sorrow and love and grief was really meaningful. Also, I had to take care of my dog (who was living with my dad) after he died, and the college let me live in non-traditional-age-student housing, which was right across the street from my friends and where I used to live. The kitchen staff there fed me every meal, even though I was no longer on the meal plan. They knew what had happened and it provided immense comfort to continue that routine and be with my friends. 

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Not exactly, but I guess I wanted to share this: I lost my mom when I was 10. My dad and I were incredibly close even before that, but once it was just the two of us, we became even closer - in some ways, like companions. There were so many overlapping interests that we had and it was a real joy to be supported and love by a parent who ‘got me.’ My dad, who was a sweet, sensitive, new-agey type guy who ran and ate vegetarian and juiced vegetables every morning (and this in suburban NJ in the 80s and 90s), believed that him and I had been connected in a past life. Our bond was so strong, and boy did it feel like such a blessing to have it, and such a crime to lose it at 19.

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Jessica | Philadelphia

What's your dad's name? Joseph Johnson

What is your favorite memory of your dad? On Dec 31st-Jan 1st, 2002 my family had a New Year’s Eve party and it was the first and last time I slow danced with my dad. I remember being slightly embarrassed and a family friend pulled me aside and told me to never be embarrassed about your parent showing you love because you never know how long it will last. A little dark for an 11 year old but it stuck with me forever. My dad died a month later.

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Lauren | Nashville

What's your dad's name? Dan Manning

What is your favorite memory of your dad? The day my husband and I told our families, including my dad, that we were expecting our daughter Adilynn is one of my favorite memories of my dad...  Telling a dad you are pregnant can be a bit awkward but my dad was beyond thrilled to be a "Grandan". My husband and I asked the family to keep it quiet for a few more weeks but my dad just couldn't. He was already on the phone with his sisters, his coworkers, and even blurted it out at our next family trivia night at the local restaurant.

My dad died suddenly 11 days before Adilynn was born so her birth and his death will always be connected.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I was so very pregnant and then so very tired from a newborn, the grief I felt was wrapped into all things situational. I couldn't separate the new mother fatigue from the grief and would just cry wondering how my life was so off course yet so expected at the same time.

I had a few friends with young kids who also experienced loss as a young adult who extended support, validated my feelings of grief and parenthood, and made their presence known in my life. Knowing I wasn't alone and that on my worst days, I was supported and understood made all the difference.

 Devonie | Denver   What's your dad's name?  Chris   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss the guy who would embarrass me when he’d take me to dinner and take out his “flipper” (fake tooth) and place it on his napkin (and then probably leave too small a tip). The one who would always make me laugh with his ridiculous questions (“What’s cream cheese? The stuff you put on bagels?”)   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I wish people would ask me what I loved about him, instead of focusing on his suicide and the reasons why it happened. I wish they would ask me what I learned from him, and what traits I am proud to share with him.

Devonie | Denver

What's your dad's name? Chris

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the guy who would embarrass me when he’d take me to dinner and take out his “flipper” (fake tooth) and place it on his napkin (and then probably leave too small a tip). The one who would always make me laugh with his ridiculous questions (“What’s cream cheese? The stuff you put on bagels?”)

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish people would ask me what I loved about him, instead of focusing on his suicide and the reasons why it happened. I wish they would ask me what I learned from him, and what traits I am proud to share with him.

 Rose | Chicago   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Frank J Schuchat   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  It's the weekend and Natalie Merchant is playing on the speakers. My dad is in a black polo t-shirt that has flour and other various food stains on it. He's baking homemade bread and snacking while he does it. He has a hot black coffee and I smell the bitterness mixed with the day's newspaper that he's already read cover to cover. I come downstairs from my bedroom and he asks me a million questions that I don't feel like answering and says he's going to let the dough rise while he runs to the grocery store. This isn't one memory, it's more a culmination of so many weekends spent in this same way.

Rose | Chicago

What's your dad's name? Frank J Schuchat

What is your favorite memory of your dad? It's the weekend and Natalie Merchant is playing on the speakers. My dad is in a black polo t-shirt that has flour and other various food stains on it. He's baking homemade bread and snacking while he does it. He has a hot black coffee and I smell the bitterness mixed with the day's newspaper that he's already read cover to cover. I come downstairs from my bedroom and he asks me a million questions that I don't feel like answering and says he's going to let the dough rise while he runs to the grocery store. This isn't one memory, it's more a culmination of so many weekends spent in this same way.

 Kristen | Somerset, MA   What's your dad's name?  Dave Costa   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I like that people talk about him around me in general, but I wish they'd tell me more stories about things that happened when I wasn't around, especially his closer friends who frequently had breakfast with him. I'd especially like to know how he felt about my divorce, which I know he supported (and I know he did not care for my ex-husband), but I've always wondered if he felt disappointed in me.

Kristen | Somerset, MA

What's your dad's name? Dave Costa

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I like that people talk about him around me in general, but I wish they'd tell me more stories about things that happened when I wasn't around, especially his closer friends who frequently had breakfast with him. I'd especially like to know how he felt about my divorce, which I know he supported (and I know he did not care for my ex-husband), but I've always wondered if he felt disappointed in me.

 Lauren | Tomball   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Greg Shulman   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  I lost my dad my freshman year of college and one of the best things family friends did was they kind of "adopted" me - they would invite my brother and I to holidays and would (and still to this day) call me almost once a week to just check in and it’s amazing how much knowing someone is there for you helps you mentally.

Lauren | Tomball

What's your dad's name? Greg Shulman

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I lost my dad my freshman year of college and one of the best things family friends did was they kind of "adopted" me - they would invite my brother and I to holidays and would (and still to this day) call me almost once a week to just check in and it’s amazing how much knowing someone is there for you helps you mentally.

 Courtney | Los Angeles&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?  Aaron   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  In my photo is my dad and I in Rome at the coliseum. One of our many travel adventures. It shows him perfectly...full of charisma (and a little of himself, haha!), happy, showing me the world. He was my own gladiator.

Courtney | Los Angeles 

What's your dad's name? Aaron

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? In my photo is my dad and I in Rome at the coliseum. One of our many travel adventures. It shows him perfectly...full of charisma (and a little of himself, haha!), happy, showing me the world. He was my own gladiator.

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Katie | NYC

What's your dad's name? Joe Carnazza

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Mostly, I wish people would tell me about my dad. He was sick for a lot of my life and I desperately want to hear other people's memories of him.

 Brittany | Miami   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Richard Steven Malitsky, but everyone called him Rick or Ricky.   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  When he was dying, I told him I was going to miss him so much. His reply, and one of the memories I hold dearest: "I'll miss you the most."   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  The first year, it felt like I was living in a world that was just not made for me. Three years later, I've learned to ignore the greeting card aisle and focus instead on honoring his memory. I'll post about him on social media and do something he would've enjoyed, like go to the beach or eat whitefish salad on a bagel. It's also the day when I check in with my other friends who've lost their dads, most of whom I met through The Dinner Party.

Brittany | Miami

What's your dad's name? Richard Steven Malitsky, but everyone called him Rick or Ricky.

What is your favorite memory of your dad? When he was dying, I told him I was going to miss him so much. His reply, and one of the memories I hold dearest: "I'll miss you the most."

What is Father’s Day like for you now? The first year, it felt like I was living in a world that was just not made for me. Three years later, I've learned to ignore the greeting card aisle and focus instead on honoring his memory. I'll post about him on social media and do something he would've enjoyed, like go to the beach or eat whitefish salad on a bagel. It's also the day when I check in with my other friends who've lost their dads, most of whom I met through The Dinner Party.

 Marcy | Baltimore&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Gary   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My dad was sick with a rare cancer for 6 years, and eventually passed away from that cancer. However awful the cancer was and even though it always returned (at least 3 times), after it was "treated" with surgery, radiation, and/or chemo, it would seemingly disappear for at least a year. My dad started to realize that he had been "gifted" with these "healthy" years, and decided he wanted to live his best life during these "no cancer" years. This was also around the time YOLO (You Only Life Once) became a thing. So one day, my sister and I returned from college for spring break, and my frail, cancer-patient-looking dad announced that he wanted to "YOLO" and go ride roller coasters. So we did. We YOLO'd and spent the day riding roller coasters. And it was a GREAT day.

Marcy | Baltimore 

What's your dad's name? Gary

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was sick with a rare cancer for 6 years, and eventually passed away from that cancer. However awful the cancer was and even though it always returned (at least 3 times), after it was "treated" with surgery, radiation, and/or chemo, it would seemingly disappear for at least a year. My dad started to realize that he had been "gifted" with these "healthy" years, and decided he wanted to live his best life during these "no cancer" years. This was also around the time YOLO (You Only Life Once) became a thing. So one day, my sister and I returned from college for spring break, and my frail, cancer-patient-looking dad announced that he wanted to "YOLO" and go ride roller coasters. So we did. We YOLO'd and spent the day riding roller coasters. And it was a GREAT day.

 Madelyn | Brooklyn&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Ben Freed   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  Once we got in a huge fight when I was a teenager. I screamed at him about all the things that were wrong with him, how he was unfair and stubborn and a pain in the freaking neck!! He let me storm off to my room and be by myself for a minute.  He came into my room, and sat with me on my bed. He said that I was right, that he was all these things. He knew he could be difficult and stubborn, and that in some ways he couldn't change it about himself. He said I'd have to learn how to deal with him because that's the way he was.  I think some people might thing that is terrible--how could you know you were difficult and not change? But it was a relief to me. He had acknowledged why I was angry, but told me the truth: that he was a person with bad qualities that might never change. He had tons of good qualities. He was a truly magnificent person who burned brightly and cast a long shadow. He was loving, attentive, talented, steadfast, utterly reliable. And also a pain in the freaking neck.  Now that he's died, and I'm more of an adult, I see how much I understand him. He went through terrible personal trauma as a young man, and it formed him into the sharp cosmic diamond he was. I've survived some of the same trauma that he did and I'm being formed into a diamond that looks a lot like him.  When he said "I know I'm difficult but I can't change," I know exactly what he means. Sometimes pain and trauma makes you a difficult person, but it sometimes also makes you a magnificent person, and sometimes those things are so intertwined they're almost the same.

Madelyn | Brooklyn 

What's your dad's name? Ben Freed

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Once we got in a huge fight when I was a teenager. I screamed at him about all the things that were wrong with him, how he was unfair and stubborn and a pain in the freaking neck!! He let me storm off to my room and be by myself for a minute.

He came into my room, and sat with me on my bed. He said that I was right, that he was all these things. He knew he could be difficult and stubborn, and that in some ways he couldn't change it about himself. He said I'd have to learn how to deal with him because that's the way he was.

I think some people might thing that is terrible--how could you know you were difficult and not change? But it was a relief to me. He had acknowledged why I was angry, but told me the truth: that he was a person with bad qualities that might never change. He had tons of good qualities. He was a truly magnificent person who burned brightly and cast a long shadow. He was loving, attentive, talented, steadfast, utterly reliable. And also a pain in the freaking neck.

Now that he's died, and I'm more of an adult, I see how much I understand him. He went through terrible personal trauma as a young man, and it formed him into the sharp cosmic diamond he was. I've survived some of the same trauma that he did and I'm being formed into a diamond that looks a lot like him.

When he said "I know I'm difficult but I can't change," I know exactly what he means. Sometimes pain and trauma makes you a difficult person, but it sometimes also makes you a magnificent person, and sometimes those things are so intertwined they're almost the same.

 Hayley | Philadelphia   What's your dad's name?  Jim   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  My dad was flawed--as everyone is. But I loved him, and I wish it was more appropriate to talk about the dead people in our lives without things getting awkward or solemn. I wish it was more acceptable to tell stories about our dead people, to joke about our grief process, to be sad or angry about grief at random times for seemingly no reason at all, and just have other people accept it and tell us it's okay. That's what I want people to know. At some point, we all end up with dead people in our lives. We need to be more open and willing to talk about it, and continue to love and support people who are grieving not just immediately after a death, but always.

Hayley | Philadelphia

What's your dad's name? Jim

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My dad was flawed--as everyone is. But I loved him, and I wish it was more appropriate to talk about the dead people in our lives without things getting awkward or solemn. I wish it was more acceptable to tell stories about our dead people, to joke about our grief process, to be sad or angry about grief at random times for seemingly no reason at all, and just have other people accept it and tell us it's okay. That's what I want people to know. At some point, we all end up with dead people in our lives. We need to be more open and willing to talk about it, and continue to love and support people who are grieving not just immediately after a death, but always.

 Lily | Boston&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?  Jeff Ritter   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?&nbsp; A friend who had also lost her dad wrote me a letter, which got me through a lot. Another friend flew across the country to come be with me… What wasn’t helpful...was having others question why I wasn’t reaching out to them for support or having people decades older than me tell me about their elderly parents dying.

Lily | Boston 

What's your dad's name? Jeff Ritter

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A friend who had also lost her dad wrote me a letter, which got me through a lot. Another friend flew across the country to come be with me… What wasn’t helpful...was having others question why I wasn’t reaching out to them for support or having people decades older than me tell me about their elderly parents dying.

 Becca | Chicago   What's your dad's name?  Scott “Scooter” Scampini   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  Us walking down the aisle at my wedding. It had been a tough road to get there as my dad was fighting his depression very hard that year. But together with our family’s support, he made lots of progress and we shared a very happy moment... He died 2 months later.

Becca | Chicago

What's your dad's name? Scott “Scooter” Scampini

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Us walking down the aisle at my wedding. It had been a tough road to get there as my dad was fighting his depression very hard that year. But together with our family’s support, he made lots of progress and we shared a very happy moment... He died 2 months later.

 Callie | Charlotte, NC   What's your dad's name?  Steve Furr   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?&nbsp; When my dad died, it was sudden, unexpected, and earth-shattering. One of my friend’s mom’s brought us a huge basket of household items: soap, detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, etc. There were so many people stopping by the house and it would have been terrible if we ran out of TP!&nbsp;

Callie | Charlotte, NC

What's your dad's name? Steve Furr

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? When my dad died, it was sudden, unexpected, and earth-shattering. One of my friend’s mom’s brought us a huge basket of household items: soap, detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, etc. There were so many people stopping by the house and it would have been terrible if we ran out of TP! 

 Jana | Vancouver   What's your dad's name?  Tyler   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; One winter we spent an entire day making a kayak out of snow on our front lawn, it took months to melt but it was funny watching it change shape throughout the seasons   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?&nbsp; If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please please please know that you are not alone. You are loved, you are cared for, and there will always be someone willing to help. http://www.yourlifecounts.org/need-help/crisis-lines "

Jana | Vancouver

What's your dad's name? Tyler

What is your favorite memory of your dad? One winter we spent an entire day making a kayak out of snow on our front lawn, it took months to melt but it was funny watching it change shape throughout the seasons

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please please please know that you are not alone. You are loved, you are cared for, and there will always be someone willing to help. http://www.yourlifecounts.org/need-help/crisis-lines "

 Amy | Gilbertsville, PA   What's your dad's name?  Dan Prough   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; When he had flowers delivered to my classroom on Valentines Day when I was in elementary school.   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?&nbsp; About his life. So many people focus on the death (suicide), I think they forget that he had a whole life before that.  

Amy | Gilbertsville, PA

What's your dad's name? Dan Prough

What is your favorite memory of your dad? When he had flowers delivered to my classroom on Valentines Day when I was in elementary school.

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? About his life. So many people focus on the death (suicide), I think they forget that he had a whole life before that.
 

 Erin | Indianapolis&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?  Johnny   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?&nbsp;&nbsp; I wish people overall wouldn't assume that just because I tear up a little when I talk about him, doesn't meant that I don't want to talk about him.&nbsp;&nbsp;I think so often folks will try to change the subject when something emotional comes up; but talking about him is happy and healthy in a lot of ways, even if it does make my eyes leak a little (or, ya know, a lot).

Erin | Indianapolis 

What's your dad's name? Johnny

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  I wish people overall wouldn't assume that just because I tear up a little when I talk about him, doesn't meant that I don't want to talk about him.  I think so often folks will try to change the subject when something emotional comes up; but talking about him is happy and healthy in a lot of ways, even if it does make my eyes leak a little (or, ya know, a lot).

 Sarah | Astoria, NYC   What's your dad's name?  Mike Braun   What is Father’s Day like for you now?&nbsp; My dad played roller hockey for years, and a bunch of his old teammates have a memorial hockey game for him every year that weekend. It's bittersweet, but it makes the day a little easier.  

Sarah | Astoria, NYC

What's your dad's name? Mike Braun

What is Father’s Day like for you now? My dad played roller hockey for years, and a bunch of his old teammates have a memorial hockey game for him every year that weekend. It's bittersweet, but it makes the day a little easier.
 

 Olivia | Santa Rosa, CA   What's your dad's name?  Jeff Moir   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  The time he took me to a Pearl Jam concert when I was in 7th grade and he got us a limo and it was the coolest experience ever. He was so excited I was old enough to start going to concerts like that.   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  Miserable. I hate seeing ads for it. I don’t know how many times I’ve almost commented on Facebook ads, “I don’t have a dad leave me alone.”

Olivia | Santa Rosa, CA

What's your dad's name? Jeff Moir

What is your favorite memory of your dad? The time he took me to a Pearl Jam concert when I was in 7th grade and he got us a limo and it was the coolest experience ever. He was so excited I was old enough to start going to concerts like that.

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Miserable. I hate seeing ads for it. I don’t know how many times I’ve almost commented on Facebook ads, “I don’t have a dad leave me alone.”

 Marie | Portland   What's your dad's name?  Eugene   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  Walking in the woods outside my childhood home, perched on my Dad's shoulders while he taught me to identify the native plants and trees. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish people who didn't know him would ask me which of his traits I inherited.

Marie | Portland

What's your dad's name? Eugene

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Walking in the woods outside my childhood home, perched on my Dad's shoulders while he taught me to identify the native plants and trees. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish people who didn't know him would ask me which of his traits I inherited.

 Karen | Colorado Springs   What's your dad's name?  David Moser   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I don’t miss the smell of smoke he always carried with him, but I also sometimes find it comforting when I come across a stranger smoking and it smells like my dad. I miss his cooking something terrible. For as long as I could remember my dad cooked dinner and we sat down at the table as a family same time every time.

Karen | Colorado Springs

What's your dad's name? David Moser

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I don’t miss the smell of smoke he always carried with him, but I also sometimes find it comforting when I come across a stranger smoking and it smells like my dad. I miss his cooking something terrible. For as long as I could remember my dad cooked dinner and we sat down at the table as a family same time every time.

 Erica | Brooklyn   What's your dad's name?  Marty   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss his voice. G-d do I miss his voice!

Erica | Brooklyn

What's your dad's name? Marty

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his voice. G-d do I miss his voice!

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Sarah | Los Angeles

What's your dad's name? Scott Hinchcliff

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Trying to jump start our rental car on the side of a dirt road in Costa Rica. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His laugh, his humor, drinking with him!

 Chelsea | Phoenix   What's your dad's name?  Jack Burke   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  He was the only person who ever told me he was proud of me and he always encouraged me to follow my passions.

Chelsea | Phoenix

What's your dad's name? Jack Burke

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? He was the only person who ever told me he was proud of me and he always encouraged me to follow my passions.

 Tina | NJ   What's your dad's name?  George   What do you wish people would know about your dad?  My dad was a restaurant owner so it was a safe haven for people to stop in, eat a meal, and he would hear them out. It was his extended family. People he impacted still tell me how much they miss him. That is what makes me sane. Is that he truly touched so many lives.

Tina | NJ

What's your dad's name? George

What do you wish people would know about your dad? My dad was a restaurant owner so it was a safe haven for people to stop in, eat a meal, and he would hear them out. It was his extended family. People he impacted still tell me how much they miss him. That is what makes me sane. Is that he truly touched so many lives.

 Kim | Sacramento   What's your dad's name?  Paul   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My favorite memory is probably when he walked me down the aisle at my wedding 6 months before he died. I originally was going to not have him walk me down the aisle, I had this theory that "I'm an independent woman, no one is giving me away." I changed my mind at literally the last second at our rehearsal.

Kim | Sacramento

What's your dad's name? Paul

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory is probably when he walked me down the aisle at my wedding 6 months before he died. I originally was going to not have him walk me down the aisle, I had this theory that "I'm an independent woman, no one is giving me away." I changed my mind at literally the last second at our rehearsal.

 Carly | College Station, TX&nbsp;   What's your dad's name? &nbsp;Richard Blustein   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss my dad’s many passions in life. He loved baseball, history, and travel. He loved to tell everyone about any of these things, as he was basically an encyclopedia of all three. He didn’t acquire many new hobbies later in life, but rather he held on fiercely to the things he’d cherished all his life. That commitment is rare these days, as are people like him.   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  I’ve been blessed to have amazing friends and family in my life who have lifted me up in the past year. Although many of them cannot relate, I have found solace in those who can. I went on a Jewish grief retreat thing last summer and felt immediately welcomed in that space, even though my grief was still so raw and tender. My roommate was someone who had previously been an acquaintance but we were now irrevocably bonded in our shared loss of our fathers. Her dad died several years before mine, so she had valuable insight of perspectives I had yet to experience. Although we readily acknowledge that each person’s grief journey is different, having someone to walk beside down the same path (albeit a few miles ahead) was so helpful. Even though this path is anything but linear, it’s the people lining the course who help you navigate the twists and turns.

Carly | College Station, TX 

What's your dad's name? Richard Blustein

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my dad’s many passions in life. He loved baseball, history, and travel. He loved to tell everyone about any of these things, as he was basically an encyclopedia of all three. He didn’t acquire many new hobbies later in life, but rather he held on fiercely to the things he’d cherished all his life. That commitment is rare these days, as are people like him.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I’ve been blessed to have amazing friends and family in my life who have lifted me up in the past year. Although many of them cannot relate, I have found solace in those who can. I went on a Jewish grief retreat thing last summer and felt immediately welcomed in that space, even though my grief was still so raw and tender. My roommate was someone who had previously been an acquaintance but we were now irrevocably bonded in our shared loss of our fathers. Her dad died several years before mine, so she had valuable insight of perspectives I had yet to experience. Although we readily acknowledge that each person’s grief journey is different, having someone to walk beside down the same path (albeit a few miles ahead) was so helpful. Even though this path is anything but linear, it’s the people lining the course who help you navigate the twists and turns.

 Amanda | Ann Arbor   What's your dad's name?  George&nbsp;   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss everything, even the things I thought bothered me.   What is Father’s Day like for you now?&nbsp; Now it's a month of dread for June and emotions that I can't control. A feeling of sadness and hurt. I try to remember good times but it's still too fresh. My dad died the day after Father's Day so it's even worse.

Amanda | Ann Arbor

What's your dad's name? George 

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss everything, even the things I thought bothered me.

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Now it's a month of dread for June and emotions that I can't control. A feeling of sadness and hurt. I try to remember good times but it's still too fresh. My dad died the day after Father's Day so it's even worse.

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Femke + Saskia | United Kingdom

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A friend's partner who has also lost his father gave me a hug and said 'It's brutal losing a Dad.' In a culture that finds it hard to name the pain of loss and death, this felt hugely valuable and real. -- Femk

 Ashley | Chicago   What's your dad's name?  Joe   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss his advice and his laugh. He told great stories and gave great hugs.   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I wish that they would ask anything at all. I love talking about him, even though it's hard. One of the things that causes me the most pain is the idea that he could be forgotten.

Ashley | Chicago

What's your dad's name? Joe

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his advice and his laugh. He told great stories and gave great hugs.

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish that they would ask anything at all. I love talking about him, even though it's hard. One of the things that causes me the most pain is the idea that he could be forgotten.

 Chelsey | Phoenix   What's your dad's name?  Richard McHale   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad  ?&nbsp; A co-worker wrote a card to me at work and left it in my mailbox explaining about when she lost a parent. It was thoughtful and made me feel not so alone.

Chelsey | Phoenix

What's your dad's name? Richard McHale

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dadA co-worker wrote a card to me at work and left it in my mailbox explaining about when she lost a parent. It was thoughtful and made me feel not so alone.

 Elizabeth | Savannah   What's your dad's name?  Ralph   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad  ?&nbsp; Anything really.&nbsp;When people don't talk about him it makes me feel like they forgot that he is gone and that life has moved on but it hasn't for me.   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; Our father daughter dance to Pulp Fiction

Elizabeth | Savannah

What's your dad's name? Ralph

What do you wish people would ask you about your dadAnything really. When people don't talk about him it makes me feel like they forgot that he is gone and that life has moved on but it hasn't for me.

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Our father daughter dance to Pulp Fiction

 Gabriela | NYC   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? &nbsp;I miss my dad’s postcards. I wonder what he would be like as a texter.

Gabriela | NYC

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my dad’s postcards. I wonder what he would be like as a texter.

 Sally | NYC&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Ted   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  From the time my dad was diagnosed with AIDS in 1993, we kept his illness a secret. My parents told us we did so to protect ourselves. At his funeral in our church in Charleston, SC, we handed out red AIDS ribbons as a way of coming out. I'm still so grateful for the several hundred people who wore them. As our secret was met with acceptance, I felt so much lighter.

Sally | NYC 

What's your dad's name? Ted

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? From the time my dad was diagnosed with AIDS in 1993, we kept his illness a secret. My parents told us we did so to protect ourselves. At his funeral in our church in Charleston, SC, we handed out red AIDS ribbons as a way of coming out. I'm still so grateful for the several hundred people who wore them. As our secret was met with acceptance, I felt so much lighter.

 Christina | Stone Mountain, GA   What's your dad's name? &nbsp;Eugene Earle Semple   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  Oddly enough, we didn't celebrate the holiday with more than a few words. As far as I'm concerned, that act of disregard for the holiday was a gift from the gods because now I can let the day come and go with no attachment whatsoever. No, it's the random Wednesdays, the sitting at the traffic lights, the 3am insomnia-induced awareness that are heart-shredding.   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  What am I proud of of my Dad:&nbsp;I am proud to have his last name. I am proud of all the lives he's touched. I am proud of his legacy. I am proud of his flaws because they give me permission to be flawed and loved simultaneously.

Christina | Stone Mountain, GA

What's your dad's name? Eugene Earle Semple

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Oddly enough, we didn't celebrate the holiday with more than a few words. As far as I'm concerned, that act of disregard for the holiday was a gift from the gods because now I can let the day come and go with no attachment whatsoever. No, it's the random Wednesdays, the sitting at the traffic lights, the 3am insomnia-induced awareness that are heart-shredding.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? What am I proud of of my Dad: I am proud to have his last name. I am proud of all the lives he's touched. I am proud of his legacy. I am proud of his flaws because they give me permission to be flawed and loved simultaneously.

 Kate | Toronto   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Geoff   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I wish more people would ask me about him as a person and our relationship together, instead of stopping after asking how he died. When people hear "suicide", they're afraid to ask more questions. He is not defined by his final act.

Kate | Toronto

What's your dad's name? Geoff

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish more people would ask me about him as a person and our relationship together, instead of stopping after asking how he died. When people hear "suicide", they're afraid to ask more questions. He is not defined by his final act.

 Olivia | NYC   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Al Giovetti   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; I have very few memories of my dad (he died when I was 7), and the ones I do have come in snippets: His plaid shirts, the smell of his Marlboro Reds, his black Chevy pickup which we would drive around in on weekends listening to the Cruisin' Classics cassette tape series from Shell gas station (there's a Wikipedia entry on this series so I know that happened) or Dr. Demento. Watching the Three Stooges with him in his mother's basement where he lived after he and my mom split up. Tinted aviator shades. How my mother gave him a Sears gift certificate for his birthday one year (maybe his last birthday) and he used it to buy me a dress. His Woody Woodpecker and Road Runner tattoos — and how he'd say "I have two birds and a pecker" of them.

Olivia | NYC

What's your dad's name? Al Giovetti

What is your favorite memory of your dad? I have very few memories of my dad (he died when I was 7), and the ones I do have come in snippets: His plaid shirts, the smell of his Marlboro Reds, his black Chevy pickup which we would drive around in on weekends listening to the Cruisin' Classics cassette tape series from Shell gas station (there's a Wikipedia entry on this series so I know that happened) or Dr. Demento. Watching the Three Stooges with him in his mother's basement where he lived after he and my mom split up. Tinted aviator shades. How my mother gave him a Sears gift certificate for his birthday one year (maybe his last birthday) and he used it to buy me a dress. His Woody Woodpecker and Road Runner tattoos — and how he'd say "I have two birds and a pecker" of them.

 Katie | Fort Collins, CO   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Roy Christman   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  Our culture expects people to grieve and move on - keeping quiet about our loss as we move into the future. I'm learning you never stop grieving and my dad never truly leaves. His memories are with me, his presence is reflected in my choices and even my eyebrows. I share my story because I believe people live on when we keep them in our hearts, saying their full names out loud, giggling through memories. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to stay quiet about those who they lost. Tell the story - you never know who you may be helping.

Katie | Fort Collins, CO

What's your dad's name? Roy Christman

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Our culture expects people to grieve and move on - keeping quiet about our loss as we move into the future. I'm learning you never stop grieving and my dad never truly leaves. His memories are with me, his presence is reflected in my choices and even my eyebrows. I share my story because I believe people live on when we keep them in our hearts, saying their full names out loud, giggling through memories. I don't want anyone to feel like they have to stay quiet about those who they lost. Tell the story - you never know who you may be helping.

 Max | San Francisco   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Chris Barr   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  I miss his guidance. I miss his logical mind, something my mom and I don’t have as readily (That’s been hard to adjust to.) I miss his humor, his love of music and ability to find the best new music and TV shows.   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  Older men in my life began filling in for him in certain ways, offering advice he would have given, acting in his role at times we needed it.

Max | San Francisco

What's your dad's name? Chris Barr

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his guidance. I miss his logical mind, something my mom and I don’t have as readily (That’s been hard to adjust to.) I miss his humor, his love of music and ability to find the best new music and TV shows.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Older men in my life began filling in for him in certain ways, offering advice he would have given, acting in his role at times we needed it.

 Jennifer | White Lake, MI   What's your dad's name?  Norman Charles Wagner   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  I wish people would ask me more about my dad before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Such as what was he like, what were his hobbies, what did he do for a living. I feel like once people hear he was diagnosed and died they are more curious about how he died or tip toe around the subject of death and my father as if I forgot he died.   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  I want to thank you for doing this. Realizing the difficulty of the day and embracing it. Letting us remember our fathers and sharing it with everyone.

Jennifer | White Lake, MI

What's your dad's name? Norman Charles Wagner

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish people would ask me more about my dad before he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Such as what was he like, what were his hobbies, what did he do for a living. I feel like once people hear he was diagnosed and died they are more curious about how he died or tip toe around the subject of death and my father as if I forgot he died.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I want to thank you for doing this. Realizing the difficulty of the day and embracing it. Letting us remember our fathers and sharing it with everyone.

 Lisa | Sydney, Australia   What's your dad's name?  Jim Atwell   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?  My dad was my step-father, not my biological father. For some reason, most people equate a biological father as your "real dad." But that judgement discriminates and belittles the love, bond, and relationship that one can have with a step-parent. It certainly belittles the relationship I had with my dad, Jim. Jim raised me, supported me and loved me fiercely. And I him. It takes a special kind of person to truly take on someone else's child as your own.

Lisa | Sydney, Australia

What's your dad's name? Jim Atwell

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My dad was my step-father, not my biological father. For some reason, most people equate a biological father as your "real dad." But that judgement discriminates and belittles the love, bond, and relationship that one can have with a step-parent. It certainly belittles the relationship I had with my dad, Jim. Jim raised me, supported me and loved me fiercely. And I him. It takes a special kind of person to truly take on someone else's child as your own.

 Jodi | Washington, DC   What's your dad's name?  Jeffrey Tirengel   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  This is my first one, but I’ll be spending it with a fellow dinner partier!   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  Dad, what are your hopes for me?

Jodi | Washington, DC

What's your dad's name? Jeffrey Tirengel

What is Father’s Day like for you now? This is my first one, but I’ll be spending it with a fellow dinner partier!

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Dad, what are your hopes for me?

 Adriana | Hoffman Estates, IL   What's your dad's name?  Jairo   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  I appreciate when someone tells me stories about how he helped them somehow. He had a big heart and was always thinking of ways to help others.

Adriana | Hoffman Estates, IL

What's your dad's name? Jairo

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I appreciate when someone tells me stories about how he helped them somehow. He had a big heart and was always thinking of ways to help others.

 Anne | Monmouth County, NJ   What is your dad's name?&nbsp; James Nelson   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?&nbsp; My father was a police officer and a hero who saved lives on September 11, 2001.

Anne | Monmouth County, NJ

What is your dad's name? James Nelson

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My father was a police officer and a hero who saved lives on September 11, 2001.

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Erica | Jackson, MS

What is your dad's name? Bryan Hensley, died in 2013 at age 55, by suicide

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Generally, Christmas time. He would just get so excited to decorate, pick out special presents for everyone he loved (a "love language" I definitely inherited from him), prepare festive meals and generally revel in the family togetherness. Toward the end of his life, watching sobriety transform his life... once he committed to sobriety, I watched him recapture his former self, celebrate the small things in life, develop new tastes (like for sushi, something I thought that good ol' southern boy would never try), travel to new and foreign places, and reclaim once loved, familial hobbies, like bird-watching and carpentry.

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? A big part of my recovery has been trying to educate both survivors and those with no understanding of grief, about suicide and its debilitating stigma for all affected. I wrote about my journey and how the press, friends and family can do better to honor, quell and understand suicide and survivors here.

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Roger | Santa Monica, CA

What's your dad's name? Billy

What is your favorite memory of your dad? In the summer months growing up my dad would swim with my sister and I in our backyard pool every evening. I think he mainly did it for the exercise as he regularly did laps, only I would stand on his back like I was surfing and try to stay afloat. This memory speaks to his incredible patience and attitude on life. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A close friend of mine downloaded all of the old voicemails and messages I had from my dad onto a separate hard drive. I didn’t ask...they just offered. So much of the grieving process is made up of other people asking if you need anything. This was just a way they jumped in and acted and I’m incredibly grateful.

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Inez | Huntington Beach

What's your dad's name? Elmo Falcon

What is your favorite memory of your dad? I have too many favorite memories of my dad, but I have been thinking a lot lately about Saturday mornings when I was in high school. I would wake up late usually to the sound of him vacuuming and blasting "American Pie" by Don McLean around the house, and when I would come downstairs, he would ask if I wanted to go get a Costco hotdog with him. That is something that defined my home to me at the time, and something I think about a lot on Saturday mornings in my home now.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Every year on my dad's birthday, I get a hotdog from Costco, because he loved them. I've never had to go alone because one of my best friends and my husband have gone with me when they've been in town.

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Megan | NYC

What's your dad's name? Daniel William Wrappe

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? What things have you been able to do to honor your father's memory? I am in a unique situation where my Dad's alma mater has been a huge, HUGE help to me in the grieving process. Last year and earlier this month, The University of Notre Dame allowed me to attend my Dad's college reunions in his place. I didn't know any of his classmates before I went, but I walked away from the weekend with a bigger appreciation for this amazing school. People truly understood why I was there, and treated me so warmly! They introduced me to other classmates who knew my Dad, and many who did not know him simply told me how happy they were that I was there representing him. I'm an only child, so carrying on my Dad's memory and legacy is extremely important to me. So, to have the opportunity to do this at one of his favorite places is nothing short of an honor.

 Allison | Broomfield, CO   What's your dad's name?  Tim Daley   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  It’s really challenging. My dad was diagnosed with his brain tumor just a day or two after Father’s Day and my last conversation I had with him before his diagnosis was when I called to wish him a happy Father’s Day and I could tell something wasn’t right. Now, I “celebrate” the day by going on a hike up the mountain we always hiked together a few times a week, and I just try to honor him throughout the day. It helps me to hold that day open for however I’m feeling and to let myself cry or laugh and feel however I need to feel that day.   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  Introduce me to The Dinner Party, of course! My table hosted a grief retreat in the mountains and that was actually my first “dinner party” I attended. It was just the perfect weekend away to hold space for my grief and to just be surrounded by people who were searching for the same thing.

Allison | Broomfield, CO

What's your dad's name? Tim Daley

What is Father’s Day like for you now? It’s really challenging. My dad was diagnosed with his brain tumor just a day or two after Father’s Day and my last conversation I had with him before his diagnosis was when I called to wish him a happy Father’s Day and I could tell something wasn’t right. Now, I “celebrate” the day by going on a hike up the mountain we always hiked together a few times a week, and I just try to honor him throughout the day. It helps me to hold that day open for however I’m feeling and to let myself cry or laugh and feel however I need to feel that day.

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Introduce me to The Dinner Party, of course! My table hosted a grief retreat in the mountains and that was actually my first “dinner party” I attended. It was just the perfect weekend away to hold space for my grief and to just be surrounded by people who were searching for the same thing.

 Sarah | Brooklyn&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Alan   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  He was larger than life with a tremendous sense of humor. He used a mobility scooter he called his chariot and took the streets of New York with reckless abandon. Which is to say, he wasn't afraid to live life to the fullest.&nbsp;

Sarah | Brooklyn 

What's your dad's name? Alan

What is your favorite memory of your dad? He was larger than life with a tremendous sense of humor. He used a mobility scooter he called his chariot and took the streets of New York with reckless abandon. Which is to say, he wasn't afraid to live life to the fullest. 

 Candi | Wartrace, TN   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Frank Fredericks   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  I am approaching my first Fathers Day without dad this year. I realized as people shared stories at our last Dinner Party that this day was going to be so much harder than I even expected. I took the advice of my fellow Dinner Partiers and opted to plan a day away from everything. My dad always loved a good Bed and Breakfast so I found one about an hour from my house and booked it for a Father’s Day of solitude and reflection. Plus, if I'm a crazy mess, these people don't know me and will never see me again!!!!

Candi | Wartrace, TN

What's your dad's name? Frank Fredericks

What is Father’s Day like for you now? I am approaching my first Fathers Day without dad this year. I realized as people shared stories at our last Dinner Party that this day was going to be so much harder than I even expected. I took the advice of my fellow Dinner Partiers and opted to plan a day away from everything. My dad always loved a good Bed and Breakfast so I found one about an hour from my house and booked it for a Father’s Day of solitude and reflection. Plus, if I'm a crazy mess, these people don't know me and will never see me again!!!!

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Caroline | Philly

What's your dad's name? Brad Hall

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his hugs. Any time that he's in my dreams, I hug him. And I cry. It's like even while dreaming that he's there, I know he's not there. So I hug him and I cry. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Anything! So few friends ever bring him up! It gets frustrating when we talk about your dad - what you did with together, what he's like, a story from your childhood, a conversation you had together, what he does for a living, what you're doing next with him, and the list goes on - and they just avoid the topic of my dad. That's a constant measurement in my head: "We talked about your dad twice for 5 minutes, we should have talked about mine at least that much! Maybe more since he's dead and you'll never meet him!"

 Bobbi Marie | Chicago   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Bob. I am named after my Dad.   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  I called my Dad from a rusty phone booth somewhere in Italy. I was crying, I wanted to come home. He just kind of sighed and I could feel him smiling gently. But he just held this space for me. "I've been waiting for this phone call, let's talk about it." And we did, and I stayed for the remainder of my trip and it was one of the defining adventures of my life and it would have never happened without my Dad's attention, support and perspective. I love you, Dad. Thank you.

Bobbi Marie | Chicago

What's your dad's name? Bob. I am named after my Dad.

What is your favorite memory of your dad? I called my Dad from a rusty phone booth somewhere in Italy. I was crying, I wanted to come home. He just kind of sighed and I could feel him smiling gently. But he just held this space for me. "I've been waiting for this phone call, let's talk about it." And we did, and I stayed for the remainder of my trip and it was one of the defining adventures of my life and it would have never happened without my Dad's attention, support and perspective. I love you, Dad. Thank you.

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Debra | San Diego

What's your dad's name? Henry, but everyone called him Joe

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I had a really rough time trying to figure out how to feel connected with him after he died. I wasn't sure if I should be looking up at the sky wondering if he was looking down on me or take on a more morbid view in thinking of him as permanently buried six feet under. My boyfriend at the time explained to me that through physic's law of conservation of energy and thermodynamics, energy cannot be created nor can it be destroyed. And so when we die, our individual "energy" is emitted from our bodies and will continue to echo all around us for all of space and time. So, now I just think of him as being everywhere all the time which has been extremely comforting.

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Alex | Los Angeles

What's your dad's name? John

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Honestly, now I spend Father's Day celebrating myself. My dad's been gone for 11 years so I celebrate being my own "father" for the last 11 years. I take myself to dinner or to do something fun.

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Lily | Philadelphia

What's your dad's name? Rickey Black

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Someone encouraged me to share my dad with others, even people he never met. I was given the idea to hold a gathering/party in my current city with my community after the funeral. I did it the weekend of my dad's birthday (about a month after he died). It was a way for me to come back from the funeral in my hometown and share what was going on with me and also share parts of him with my friends. I read some poetry, played his favorite music and mostly just had a good time with people I love

 Janelle | Washington, DC   What's your dad's name?  Warren   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  One of the most touching things after my dad passed away happened in the first few days after. He suddenly passed away when I was living in Cameroon, Africa. It took me 2 days and 4 flights to fly home unexpectedly on terrible news. On my last flight as I was tired and staring out the window the person in the middle seat next to me asked what I was flying home for. When I told him a funeral he followed up asking for whom. It turns out he lost his Dad at the same age I had... He asked me to tell him about my Dad and was able to answer a lot of my questions about grief while I was still in shock, prepare me on how to make it through all the funeral hoopla, and even how he was still honoring his Dad's memory all these years later. When we got off the flight he hugged me and wished me all the best.  ALSO: I host a table for The Dinner Party and am so grateful to be part of a strong women's dinner party group. One thing I did not have while acutely grieving was a lot of people my age who understood loss or would allow me to speak frankly about it. It has been a great blessing to help offer that to others.

Janelle | Washington, DC

What's your dad's name? Warren

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? One of the most touching things after my dad passed away happened in the first few days after. He suddenly passed away when I was living in Cameroon, Africa. It took me 2 days and 4 flights to fly home unexpectedly on terrible news. On my last flight as I was tired and staring out the window the person in the middle seat next to me asked what I was flying home for. When I told him a funeral he followed up asking for whom. It turns out he lost his Dad at the same age I had... He asked me to tell him about my Dad and was able to answer a lot of my questions about grief while I was still in shock, prepare me on how to make it through all the funeral hoopla, and even how he was still honoring his Dad's memory all these years later. When we got off the flight he hugged me and wished me all the best.

ALSO: I host a table for The Dinner Party and am so grateful to be part of a strong women's dinner party group. One thing I did not have while acutely grieving was a lot of people my age who understood loss or would allow me to speak frankly about it. It has been a great blessing to help offer that to others.

 Charlotte | Philadelphia   What's your dad's name?  Muscoe Burnett Martin Jr   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  My freshman year of college, I moved across the country and had to leave my beloved pet fish (Princess Genghis Khan) behind. My dad would send me daily texts with a picture of the fish, written in the fish's point of view.

Charlotte | Philadelphia

What's your dad's name? Muscoe Burnett Martin Jr

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My freshman year of college, I moved across the country and had to leave my beloved pet fish (Princess Genghis Khan) behind. My dad would send me daily texts with a picture of the fish, written in the fish's point of view.

 Alanna | San Francisco   What's your dad's name?  Bill McLeod   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; My favorite memories of my dad go back as far as I remember with me sitting at the counter watching him prepare a meal. If it were dinner, usually with Jeopardy! on in the background. He was the most incredible, instinctual home cook. A recipe might be his inspiration, but never his directions. He liked to off-road it. He never really asked me to help. Or even let me help...I just watched...  Only now as an adult, after he died when I was 25, do I wish he had actually included me in the process. Because I left for college and then lived in different state (physically as well as mentally, as my mom died a couple years prior), I didn't get to have this realization and actually spend time cooking together with him. However, I'm convinced I did learn through osmosis...  To add a layer to this memory, I'm now living in the house in San Francisco that I was born in. I lived here until I was five years old. Almost 30 years later, I found the house randomly on Craigslist when I was moving back to the city. Something I didn't know until I came back and was sorting through boxes of old family photos is that my parents actually put in the kitchen here. They chose the counters and cabinets and tile and fixtures. Appliances have been updated, but everything else - the character - has all remained. We have this range hood that clucks like a chicken when you try to turn it on. Most of the time the fan finally kicks in. But sometimes it's just too tired. I thought, what a piece of junk. Until, I found a photo of my dad in this kitchen, and it became clear that this was HIS range hood. The one piece of equipment that didn't get replaced over the years. I love the sound of that damn clucking now. I love cooking in my dad's kitchen. My food will never taste as good as his. But the process is precious.  Partially, these memories surfaced today, because the world lost Anthony Bourdain. I hope he and my dad are cooking and eating together somewhere in the cosmos...

Alanna | San Francisco

What's your dad's name? Bill McLeod

What is your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memories of my dad go back as far as I remember with me sitting at the counter watching him prepare a meal. If it were dinner, usually with Jeopardy! on in the background. He was the most incredible, instinctual home cook. A recipe might be his inspiration, but never his directions. He liked to off-road it. He never really asked me to help. Or even let me help...I just watched...

Only now as an adult, after he died when I was 25, do I wish he had actually included me in the process. Because I left for college and then lived in different state (physically as well as mentally, as my mom died a couple years prior), I didn't get to have this realization and actually spend time cooking together with him. However, I'm convinced I did learn through osmosis...

To add a layer to this memory, I'm now living in the house in San Francisco that I was born in. I lived here until I was five years old. Almost 30 years later, I found the house randomly on Craigslist when I was moving back to the city. Something I didn't know until I came back and was sorting through boxes of old family photos is that my parents actually put in the kitchen here. They chose the counters and cabinets and tile and fixtures. Appliances have been updated, but everything else - the character - has all remained. We have this range hood that clucks like a chicken when you try to turn it on. Most of the time the fan finally kicks in. But sometimes it's just too tired. I thought, what a piece of junk. Until, I found a photo of my dad in this kitchen, and it became clear that this was HIS range hood. The one piece of equipment that didn't get replaced over the years. I love the sound of that damn clucking now. I love cooking in my dad's kitchen. My food will never taste as good as his. But the process is precious.

Partially, these memories surfaced today, because the world lost Anthony Bourdain. I hope he and my dad are cooking and eating together somewhere in the cosmos...

 Meghan | Brooklyn   What's your dad's name?  Kevin Flaherty   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  Watching Patriots football and eating takeout buffalo wings from our favorite spot, which was a tradition whenever I was home in Massachusetts. Football was definitely our bonding activity.   What is Father's Day like for you now?&nbsp; Id probably say that I miss him a lot, especially since he actually passed on Fathers Day, but I try to honor something about him every Fathers Day.

Meghan | Brooklyn

What's your dad's name?
Kevin Flaherty

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Watching Patriots football and eating takeout buffalo wings from our favorite spot, which was a tradition whenever I was home in Massachusetts. Football was definitely our bonding activity.

What is Father's Day like for you now? Id probably say that I miss him a lot, especially since he actually passed on Fathers Day, but I try to honor something about him every Fathers Day.

 Samantha | Washington, D.C.   What's your dad's name?  Bill   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  Shitty. I look forward to the day where that's not the case.

Samantha | Washington, D.C.

What's your dad's name? Bill

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Shitty. I look forward to the day where that's not the case.

 Leah | Denver&nbsp;   What was your dad's name?  Rob   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  His voice and his LOUD laugh. I used to hate his laugh and get embarrassed but now I just wish I could hear him again   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  Tell me about your dad. I think most people avoid the topic since they think it hurts to talk about him. It does hurt a little but when I get to tell other people about him then the memory stays vivid and present.

Leah | Denver 

What was your dad's name? Rob

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His voice and his LOUD laugh. I used to hate his laugh and get embarrassed but now I just wish I could hear him again

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Tell me about your dad. I think most people avoid the topic since they think it hurts to talk about him. It does hurt a little but when I get to tell other people about him then the memory stays vivid and present.

 Jennifer | Oakland   What's your dad's name?&nbsp; Jim Meimerstorf   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  I make it a priority to plan self care on this day and focus on being gentle with myself. I also prioritize reaching out to my siblings and my mom in the days surrounding Father's Day. We spend that time sharing memories of my dad and checking in on each other.

Jennifer | Oakland

What's your dad's name? Jim Meimerstorf

What is Father’s Day like for you now? I make it a priority to plan self care on this day and focus on being gentle with myself. I also prioritize reaching out to my siblings and my mom in the days surrounding Father's Day. We spend that time sharing memories of my dad and checking in on each other.

 Kirstin | Los Angeles   What's your dad's name?  Bill   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  FATHER’S DAY INTERNET TAKEOVER sneaks up on me. “I’m good this year”, I think... I am in an “I’m unsubscribing from any company who sends me a dad related email” grief-rage. Cards Against Humanity Dad Pack. Unsubscribe. Ultimate Father’s Day Gift Guide. Unsubscribe. What are you doing for your birthday? Unsubscribe. Oops.  Realization creeps in. Yeah, I’m in grief mode. I declare a State of Emergency and deploy my highest level Self-Care Protocol.

Kirstin | Los Angeles

What's your dad's name? Bill

What is Father’s Day like for you now? FATHER’S DAY INTERNET TAKEOVER sneaks up on me. “I’m good this year”, I think... I am in an “I’m unsubscribing from any company who sends me a dad related email” grief-rage. Cards Against Humanity Dad Pack. Unsubscribe. Ultimate Father’s Day Gift Guide. Unsubscribe. What are you doing for your birthday? Unsubscribe. Oops.

Realization creeps in. Yeah, I’m in grief mode. I declare a State of Emergency and deploy my highest level Self-Care Protocol.

 Tara | NYC   What's your dad's name?  John Goode   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  The simple things - going for a long bike ride, getting ice cream, grilling out, drinking apple juice, going to car shows and car shopping together. I also miss his jokes, laughter and humor! What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Anything - no one ever asks me anything about my Dad really. I think they assume I would prefer to not talk about him so never bring anything up.

Tara | NYC

What's your dad's name? John Goode

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? The simple things - going for a long bike ride, getting ice cream, grilling out, drinking apple juice, going to car shows and car shopping together. I also miss his jokes, laughter and humor! What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Anything - no one ever asks me anything about my Dad really. I think they assume I would prefer to not talk about him so never bring anything up.

 Lauren | Long Beach&nbsp;   What's your dad's name?  Vince Consul   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  There are so many! One small, but meaningful thing I miss is when we would be in the car and if he was in the front seat and I was in the backseat, he would reach back and, without saying anything, hold and squeeze my hand. It's the little things I miss the most.

Lauren | Long Beach 

What's your dad's name? Vince Consul

What is your favorite memory of your dad? There are so many! One small, but meaningful thing I miss is when we would be in the car and if he was in the front seat and I was in the backseat, he would reach back and, without saying anything, hold and squeeze my hand. It's the little things I miss the most.

 Kerry, Los Angeles   What is your dad's name?  Lee   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  Dancing together at the Father Daughter Ball      What is Father’s Day like for you now?  Conflicted. I try to hide out a bit to not be reminded of what I'm missing, but I want to honor my dad in my own way.

Kerry, Los Angeles

What is your dad's name? Lee

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Dancing together at the Father Daughter Ball

What is Father’s Day like for you now? Conflicted. I try to hide out a bit to not be reminded of what I'm missing, but I want to honor my dad in my own way.

 Sarah | San Francisco   What's your dad's name?  Mo! (Full: Mojtaba Tehrani Kia)   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  Mmm, "What was he like?" instead of "How did he die?", though happy to answer both and honestly love when people ask anything about him at all! &nbsp;

Sarah | San Francisco

What's your dad's name? Mo! (Full: Mojtaba Tehrani Kia)

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? Mmm, "What was he like?" instead of "How did he die?", though happy to answer both and honestly love when people ask anything about him at all!  

 Roxelane | Boston   What's your dad's name?  Francis   What is your favorite memory of your dad?  I remember how as a child, I would always jump into his arms whenever he would come home from work. His face would always light up.

Roxelane | Boston

What's your dad's name? Francis

What is your favorite memory of your dad? I remember how as a child, I would always jump into his arms whenever he would come home from work. His face would always light up.

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Nicole | NYC

What's your dad's name? Doug

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Before bed time, Dad would hold me up in the air and spin me around the living room so I could pretend that I was an airplane flying through the air at what he called "warp speed." Looking back on it now, there had to have been days when he was tired or stressed; but when I asked him to play "airplane" he never said no.

 Siobhan | Sunderland, MA   What's your dad's name?  Jim   What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad?  He had this habit (which I've inherited), where if he saw something he thought you'd like, he'd pick it up for you. Never anything huge, but he'd turn up with your favorite candy, a book he thought you'd like, or a CD from an artist he thought you should listen to. I miss that easy thoughtfulness that was also always right.   What is Father’s Day like for you now? &nbsp;I wouldn't say that I dread it anymore, but it feels sharp. I'll see an ad in the lead up to the day, and think "oh I should get him that!" before remembering. The day itself might be fine, but I never know until I'm living it.

Siobhan | Sunderland, MA

What's your dad's name? Jim

What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? He had this habit (which I've inherited), where if he saw something he thought you'd like, he'd pick it up for you. Never anything huge, but he'd turn up with your favorite candy, a book he thought you'd like, or a CD from an artist he thought you should listen to. I miss that easy thoughtfulness that was also always right.

What is Father’s Day like for you now? I wouldn't say that I dread it anymore, but it feels sharp. I'll see an ad in the lead up to the day, and think "oh I should get him that!" before remembering. The day itself might be fine, but I never know until I'm living it.

 Leah | Los Angeles   What's your dad's name?  Frank   What is Father’s Day like for you now?  It is contemplative and usually quiet - sort of like I know the rest of the world is up to something but I'm not participating. It's not bitter, just a time for me to go inward. I always take a moment to honor my dad and connect with him through the things that remind me of him (trees, italian food) and care for myself (a nap, art, spa).   Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? &nbsp;My dad would be 89 today, and on fathers day we'd make him a huge breakfast of eggs, fried potatoes, sliced + salted tomatoes, scones, endless coffee, and anything else we could think of. We'd usually go out to the river and spend a day lounging outside, collecting rocks, and playing in the water.

Leah | Los Angeles

What's your dad's name? Frank

What is Father’s Day like for you now? It is contemplative and usually quiet - sort of like I know the rest of the world is up to something but I'm not participating. It's not bitter, just a time for me to go inward. I always take a moment to honor my dad and connect with him through the things that remind me of him (trees, italian food) and care for myself (a nap, art, spa).

Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My dad would be 89 today, and on fathers day we'd make him a huge breakfast of eggs, fried potatoes, sliced + salted tomatoes, scones, endless coffee, and anything else we could think of. We'd usually go out to the river and spend a day lounging outside, collecting rocks, and playing in the water.

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Katie | Los Angeles

What's your dad's name? Larry Chapmon

What is your favorite memory of your dad? I fondly remember that he microwaved 2 pieces of bread with 2 pieces of cheese and tried to pass it off as "grilled cheese". My sister and I weren't having any of it.

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Katie | Queens

What's your dad's name? Denny Hanna

What is Father’s Day like for you now? This is my third Father's Day without my dad, and it's gotten a little easier since the first one, but it's still really hard! I'm happy for everyone who still has their dad in their life, but...I'm also jealous.

 Sarah | Washington DC   What's your dad's name?  Myles&nbsp;   What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad?  My mom never pushed me to grieve a certain way. I lost my dad when I was 12, and the trauma for both of us was overwhelming. She really worked to hold herself and be supported while extending the space for me to process best I could.

Sarah | Washington DC

What's your dad's name? Myles 

What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My mom never pushed me to grieve a certain way. I lost my dad when I was 12, and the trauma for both of us was overwhelming. She really worked to hold herself and be supported while extending the space for me to process best I could.

 Ariana | Los Angeles   What's your dad's name?  Morrie   What is your favorite memory of your dad?&nbsp; Every year for the Italian-American feast of the seven fishes, he would kill live lobsters for the pasta sauce. He always made a huge show of it and made it overdramatic.   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad?  What did he like to cook?

Ariana | Los Angeles

What's your dad's name? Morrie

What is your favorite memory of your dad? Every year for the Italian-American feast of the seven fishes, he would kill live lobsters for the pasta sauce. He always made a huge show of it and made it overdramatic.

What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? What did he like to cook?

 Kellyn | Boston   What's your dad's name?  Tim   What is your favorite memory of your dad  ?&nbsp; Can't pick one - but my dad used to leave Cheetos fingerprints in his sci-fi books.   What do you wish people would ask you about your dad  ?&nbsp; I wish people would ask about my dad's adventures. He lived life very fully, with a lot of travel and fun despite being critically ill for 20+ years.

Kellyn | Boston

What's your dad's name? Tim

What is your favorite memory of your dadCan't pick one - but my dad used to leave Cheetos fingerprints in his sci-fi books.

What do you wish people would ask you about your dadI wish people would ask about my dad's adventures. He lived life very fully, with a lot of travel and fun despite being critically ill for 20+ years.

 Liz | Annapolis   What's your dad's name?  Rich   What is something helpful that someone did you for after you lost your dad?&nbsp; When my dad opened a new jar of peanut butter he used to carve the letter of the peanut butter brand into the top. He would twist of the lid, remove the paper, then draw an ‘S’ for Skippy or a ‘J’ for Jif into the cream using a butter knife. One night a few weeks after my dad’ s death, my friend sent me a picture of a jar of peanut butter with the letter ‘J’ carved in the top.

Liz | Annapolis

What's your dad's name? Rich

What is something helpful that someone did you for after you lost your dad? When my dad opened a new jar of peanut butter he used to carve the letter of the peanut butter brand into the top. He would twist of the lid, remove the paper, then draw an ‘S’ for Skippy or a ‘J’ for Jif into the cream using a butter knife. One night a few weeks after my dad’ s death, my friend sent me a picture of a jar of peanut butter with the letter ‘J’ carved in the top.